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Newspaper Page Text
A BLOODLESS BATTLE
The occasion was the regi
mental ball. The band was there,
and the palms and the refresh
ment buffet and everything was
But in one corner, behind a
beautiful green rampart of palms,
the young lieutenant a" I the
colonel's daughter were trying to
occupy thesame chair, and were
giving other evidence of the fact
that their hearts had been pierced
by some of Cupid's darts.
Suddenly an intruder appeared
a fierce intruder in the uni
formed personage of the young
lady's father. Instantly the chair
was abandoned and the youthful
swain stood at attention.
"Sir," he said, in sharp tones,
"I have the honor to report an en
gagement at close quarters, in
( Too much or a )
which I have been entirely vic
torious. Now, sir, it merely re
mains for you to give your official
sanction to the terms of surren
der." WHEN THE WORM TURNS
The case, as a matter of fact,
was of quite a trivial nature ; but,
for all that, the lawyer, who hap
pened to be a young man, and am
bitious, determined to get, at any
rate, some credit out of it for him-
So when a deminutive, ragged
little urchin took his stand in the
witness li.'ix he decided to make
the most of an opportunity and
establish a reputation for bril
liance at that small boy's expense.
"You say you are fifteen years
old?" he scornfully inquired,
"Have you got an occupation of
any sort ?'
"No," replied the youtfi. w3tB
"You just loaf about stand atj
street corners, and so forth."'
'Tint's about it, mister."
'Hum: And what does your
father do? '
The old man ? Oh, he don'ttlo
much:" And the boy smiled as he
drawled the words.
"You mean," said the lawyer,
"that your father is like you a
!a;:y, worthless, good-for-n-.filing
idler : one of those men who "
"Maybe he is maybe he ain't,"
interrupted the witness. "Any
way, you can ask him yourself.
He's sittin' there on the jury."
She They say a man has seven
ages. He Woman is more stable.
She has one age and sticks to it.