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Newspaper Page Text
What did you quit eating? We
quit porterhouse steak. (Pst! We
haven't been able to buy porter
house for a year anyhow!)
Since we don't take advertising
we don't need to fill our paper
with columns of automobile truck
and that isn't meant for a pun.
Charles S. Deneen of Winder
mere Hotel begs to announce that
he has been granted absolute de
cree from politics by the people.
The profs at Rockefeller's edu
cational joint always seem to be
up to some fool stunt. Hoben
now denounces the movies.
What the Municipal Voters'
League doesn't know about -politics
would fill a book. Its report
says that "Aid. Powers was re
buked by the voters of neighbor
ing wards when he sought a nom
ination for congress."
To anyone who knows the in
side story of Powers' defeat for
the congressional nomination this
is highly humorous.
Mrs. Taft turkey-trotted last
night but not with her husband,
hubby not being built on those ar
If it were not that some
durned idiot might dissolve it,
we'd like to see an investigation
of the Chicago newspaper trust.
Being U. S. minister to China
seems to be about as precarious a
means of earning a living as one
The esteemed Examiner (pub
lisher, Andy Lawrence) has dis
covered that election scandals are
costing Chicago too much.
They are, but what does the
Examiner propose to do with
Andy drop him in the lake?
"Suffragist to .Unveil Bust."
Head in New York Times. It
smacks of scandal, Horace, it
smacks of scandal !
The County Board met yester
day and did not induJge in a fight
Probably the cold weather ac
counts for it.
Dying apparently is a favorite
occupation of his majesty, King
Menelik of Abyssinia.
AW, WE'VE HEARD THIS
CLERK'S JOKE BEFORE
New York, Feb. 5. New York
police department went into the
hotel business today when In
spector John Dwyer became act
ing manager of the Hotel Lincoln,
the proprietor of which was ac
cused of running a disorderly
Dwyer will "manage" the place
until all the guests are out. They
have been ordered to leave. Court
has ruled the hotel closed in ten
Among the names on the reg
ister were Mr. and Mrs. George
Washington, Napoleon Bona
parte and wife and Mr. and Mrs,
"Didn't you know these people
were dead?" asked Dwyer of the
"The h 1 they are !" exclaimed
the clerk. "I didn't even know;
they were sick."
The French embassy building;
is the finest in London. The Rus
sian comes next and the German,