Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1943 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
OH, VSCC, '
v IT JSS USCLCS3
"? FOR MC TO Tj3K Y -
LIFE. I V(.c ACT
uxe i 4 Asceep 5-
uwtic He Goe
--V, AAV v .xV
y. ,, ... jCT I . H
Where Ignorance Is Bliss.
Hot, grumbling, coated with
grease and grime, the motorist
emerged from beneath the car,
and struggled for breath.
His helpful friend, holding a
large oil can in his hand, beamed
"Now we ought to be able to
get her going, Dick, old man," he
remarked. "I've just given the
cylinder a real good oiling."
"Cylinder, you fool !" said the
angry motorist. "Cylinder, in
deed! That wasn't the cylinder ;
it was my ear !"
"Auntie, are second thoughts
best ?" "So we are told, my dear.7
"Then why don't people have
A SUDDEN CALL
She was an heiress heiress to
countless millions. What is more,
she was in love head over heels
in love with a Spanish grandee,
an impecunious, dark-haired
nobleman, romantic, and, withal,
"Don Gorgonzola," she said to
him one morning pensively, as
they were walking in the park,
"Don Gorgonzola, society cruelly
asserts that you are marrying me
solely for my money."
The young man withdrew a
cigarette from the beautiful gold
diamond-studded case that she
had given him. Then :
"They lie, my love! They lie!'
he declared, blowing out a thick'
cloud of smoke.
"Maybe," the girl replied, "but
their censures hurt me. T won't
allow such horrid things to be
said of you. I know what I will
do. I'll I'll" she hesitated for a
moment "I'll make the whole of
my fortune over to the mission
aries at once!"
The grandee settled his pol
ished hat more firmly on his head
and set off at a great pace.
"Don Gorgonzola Don Gor
gonzola, where are you going?''
the girl called after him.
"I am going," he shouted back,
"to see about becoming a mis
sionarv without delav!"
Mrs. Casev Yesterdav was
Mrs. Maloney's birthday, and her
husband gave her a silver teapot.
.Til 3. ItlUl pil fcJVJIHJ . 1T1IO. VT,
Sure, you're joking! How could
she put tea in it it it were solid?