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Newspaper Page Text
NOT COLD SHOULDER
r MISSING HIS OPPORTUNITY
The leader of a band, giving an
opening concert, beat time very ener
getically, leaning now toward one in
strument, now toward another, and
stamping his foot apparently in par
oxysms of musical fervor. Mike, in
the audience watched him fascinat
ed; but at the end of the selection,
with a disappointed air, he turned to
leave. "How did ye like it, Mike?"
asked his friend. "Come away!" said
Mike in disgust. "Oi've been watchin'
him for half an hour, and he hasn't
hit one of thim yet!"
DOING NjCELY THANK YOU
There was a young chauffeur named
"Whose auto decided to skid
In six months he is due
Active work to renew,
"With plumbing work under his lid.
Hiram College Advance says:
"Following the regular meeting, pop
corn was passed among the men and
an informal social resulted." That
college has always been subject to
sporadic riotousness ver since
Garfield ceased to be its president.
A temperance lecturer, nearingthe
end of his discourse, said impressive
ly, "IjJvery time I see a young man
CQming out of a saloon I want to go
right up to that young man and say,
'Turn right around, yoting man;
yojjfre-going the wrong way J' '
"I understand dat young married,
lady handed it out hot an heavy to.
"Yep, dat's right. She gimme a,
loaf of bread she'd jest baked."
Should one eat cake with their
fingers or with a fork? O. G.
Nature supplied the mouth for that'
How can I take varnish from a rag.
carpet? S. W. ,
If the carpet Is what you say, play
the piano for it and it may wear the
Please mention a few gifts that'
would be nice to give a nurse. She'
will graduate this month. N. L.
Does ammonia turn a gold ring tor
silver? I. ML Looney.
About as much as water turns a
building into a free.
My friend is very much annoyed,"
by the hair which grows about his,
ears. What can he do to getrid of it?,
, Officer! Call a barber L
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