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Newspaper Page Text
Got two holes, on der odder hand,
a pair of spectacles might be it.
3:VLLTDRIFE ME CRAYi5
A SCOTSMAN'S LOVE STORY
There is a human touch about this
t simple little story. It comes from
-Scotland, and is not an invention.
To the minister came one of the
flock, with doleful face and in his
best "blacks," to announce that his
"wife was dead. He was dismissed
with words of sympathy.
A few weeks later he told his spir
itual adviser he had found a suitable
woman as housekeeper, and was
A year passed, and once again the
bereaved man called. "I jist drapped
in," he said, "to tell ye that I'm no
weel enough off to run to a hoose
keeper, so I'll hae to marry the
Painter Rogers, the critic, has
roasted my picture unmercifully!
. Friend Don't mind that fellow!
:He's novideas of his own; he only re- I
.eats, like a parrot, what others say!
The fat man on the end seat of
the street car was softly humming to
himself when the man with a grum
ble climbed over him to sit down and
"You couldn't have read your pa
per this morning."
"Every inch of it, sir," was the
"Then you saw that there was an
other rise in the price of beef by
those butcher robbers?"
"And did you get to the fact that
it is the seventh rise in a year?"
"And don't it make you feel Eke
breaking somebody's neck?"
"Oh, no, sir. On the contrary, it
makes me laugh."
"Then, you must be a mighty queer
"Hardly that I am just a happy
man. I am in the hands of Provi
dence, so to say."
"Will you explain?" was asked,
after a minute.
"With pleasure, sir. Three years
ago I got all , my teeth but one
knocked out by a brickbat. I haven't
had them replaced by false ones."
"A year ago a horse kicked my
son's teeth down his throat. They
haven't been replaced yet"
"But you have a wife?"
"Oh, yes. She had all her teeth
until an hour ago, and then she fell
downstairs and knocked them out
They will not be replaced."
"Well, 111 be hanged!" exclaimed
the man with the grumble.
"So you see, sir so you see that
the blooming old butchers can raise
prices and be hanged to 'em. The
three of us are living on mush and
milk, and don't care if beef goes to
a dollar a pound."
Young Widow Did you have any
rouble getting Jack to propose?
Girl Friend No, dear; I told htm
you were after him,
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