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'There's a oouple of Wood's friends
here wantin to know what's going
to become of the rest of the money.
I think we'd better go and buy a
house and lot out at the cemetery so
Wood's friends can go and pour flies
around his grave."
It is not known what the answer of
-A the person at the other end of the
line was. Higgins slammed down the
receiver as soon as he had made his
"Funerals," he said to Wood's
friends, "are not for the living, they
are for the dead. I could get anyone?
buried by the Western Casket Co.
- for $40."
"Yes," said one of Wood's friends,
"and I'd like to see the body at the
end of two months if it could be
"What does that matter?" shouted
Higgins. "Funerals are for the living,
not for the dead. Wouldn't hurt
Wood if his body wasn't there. When
I'm dead I want to be hustled away
as cheaply as possible. I don't care
about my body; all I care about is
"Yes," said Wood's friend, dryly,
4 . "I've noticed that same anxiety about
other officers of Sears, Roebuck &
Higgins reddened. "Lookahere,"
he spluttered, "we're administrators
of this estate and we're going to do
, exactly as we please."
"What are you going to do with
the money left over after the $69 fu
neral is paid for?" demanded Wood's
"Why, we're going to send it to his
" relatives at Easton Rectory, Man
9 Chester, England," said Higgins.
"Don't you know that it is a fact
that during Wood's illness, his friends
wrote to that address and received
p no reply?"
r "Why ah yes, I knew that," said
"Well, how can you send money to
people when you do not know
Whether they exist or not? All
ffiopds relatives may be dead, or may
have moved to some address you can
"Um," said Higgins, 'and pulled his
"What will you do with the bal
ance of the death benefit fund if you
cannot trace Wood's relatives?"
"Well we'll you see in a case
like that " Higgins stared help
lessly around the room, and then in
spiration came to him. "Why," he
said, brightly, "well use it to put up
"Well, tell us just how much money
you will have over to use for putting
up a gravestone after a $69 funeral?"
"Here's a copy of the by-laws and
rules of the benefit association," said
Wood's friends did not go. They
read through the copy of rules and
by-laws. There was nothing as to
the AMOUNT of either sick or death
benefits, although there was much
about how to go about getting bene
fits, the necessity of doing the same,
and how much the employes had to
"How much money will there be
left over after the $69 funeral?"
asked one of Wood's friends again.
Higgins pulled his mustache nerv
ously. "I've got to figure that up," he said,
and pulled a private notebook of
some sort out of his desk.
"One hundred and twenty-five dol
lars is the amount of the death bene
fit," he said, after much fumbling
with the notebook.
"So there will be $56 left over to
send to Wood's friends or to use for
a gravestone. Is that correct?"
"Um," said Higgins, "you see, the
thing is, well there are sick benefits
coming to the estate, too."
"I see," said the friend. "And what
amount is coming in sick benefits?"
Higgins did some more figuring.
"One hundred and eleven dollars and
twenty-five cents less four dollars
and seventy cents paid to Wood," he
said, at last.
"Then there will be $167,25 to en4