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Newspaper Page Text
x l MrTOOPT OSGAR KEAKiNsN mj)
Wiif.tfiE. HE VILL NEVER KNOW I p f'Y
H) ( IS Took Dot von utti-e. . rt t. I
IjjMeuss of BeERX-c- J
1 1 mimiim
DODGING THE ISSUE
Jones picked up his hat and left
the office a few days ago during
"I've got to go to the station," he
explained, "to meet my wife's elder
sister. She's coming to stay with
"But why meet her?" someone
asked. "You live only two doors
trom tne station, sureiy sne can't
miss the way?"
"Yea," replied Jones; "that's what
my wife says. But I'd rather meet
iier at the station, you know. If I
tackle her in public, you see, I shan't
have to kiss her."
The 1910 censuses and estimates
nearly twobillion, or about 40 per
square mile. It is calculated that ten
imes this number could be supported
if as densely placed on the 30 million
quare miles of good land as in.Be!-
WHEN OUT OF STOCK
"How much a pound are your
sausages? inquired a sharp-featured
little woman of the pork butcher.
"Der rf brice vas gone ups," ges
ticulated the shopman. "I vill haf to
sharge you 15 cents."
"Nonsense!" said the little woman.
"Such imposition! Why, I can get
them at Shaubaum's for 12 cents!"
"Veil, madam, vy don't you do so?"
"Don't be impudent, my good man!
He was out of them."
"Ah, veil," smiled the butcher, "ef
I vas out of dem, I vood let you haf
dem for 12 cents, too, madam!"
THE" OBVIOUS SOLUTION
"Now, boys," said the schoolmas
ter, "here is another problem for you.
There are five children in a family,
but it so happens that there are only
four potatoes in the house. What is
the mother to do so as to give all her
children equal portions?"
Silence reigned in the class. Each
of the pupils sat thinking intently;
then, to the delight of the master, the
youngest and smallest of them stood
I up, eager to give an answer.
"Well, Tommy?" he asked.
"Please, sir," replied the boy,
"mash the potatoes!"
A NARROW SHAVE
"By Jove, I had a narrow escape
"Well, four of us were lunching
together, and, of course you know
how one has to on that sort of occa
sion we each insisted on stumping
up and paying the bill."
"Yes," remarked his friend. "But
what about that narrow escape?"
"That's just it For a minute or
two it looked very much as though
I'd overplayed the game and the oth
er three really were going to leave
me with that bill to pay!"
. o o
Though France has an abundant
supply of electric nergy, electric
signs seem to be so far lacking.