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Newspaper Page Text
CAUSE AND EFFECT
"Hello, old man! What's the mat
ter?" asked the barrister's friend.
"Been in a railway accident, a motor
car smash or what?"
"No, no," replied the barrister.
"The fact is, I had a jury case the
other day and pleaded so eloquently
to make my client appear merely a
fool, instead of the knave he was,
that finally I managed to get him
The friend looked puzzled.
"Yes," he queried; "but what has
that to do with your appearance?"
"Oh, the man met me later in the
day outside the law courts, that's
EVER PLAY GOLF?
The man was old and worn and gray.
His step was weak and slow. ,
"Upon these links," he said, "I drove
A ball some years ago.
It flew away I know not where,
And, to decide a bet,
I started then to find the ball
I'm looking for it yet."
j WISE CALLER
"Muriel," said the old gentleman,
sharply, "that young man you had
in the parlor last night is dull of com
prehension. All I had to do was
cough when the other chaps remain
ed too late,v and they would take the
hint and depart. Did this one say
anything when I coughed last
"Yes," replied the beautiful laugh
ter. "He said the next time he called
he was going to bring you some
FOR DEAR LITTLE TOTS
( VJHO PIP THAT,,
Dear children, if fly paper you
Would put on grandpa's crown
To keep the flies off where it's bald,
Don't put it upside down.
Remember, children, if you do,
Grandpa may turn you that way, too.
HE KNEW ALL RIGHT
Young Jack found himself alone
with the newly-arrived visitor. For
a few minutes he eyed her critically;
"So you're my grandmother, are
you?" he asked.
The old lady smiled at the lad be
nevolently. "Yes, dear," she answered. "On
your father's side."
"Hum!" said young Jack. "Then
you're on the wrong side; you can
take my word for that. If not, you'll
soon find it out for yourself!"
ABOUT THE LIMIT
There is a man in our town,
You'll never find a meaner.
He borrows once a week.he does,
His neighbor's vacuum cleaner.
He uses it for a shampoo
The cost, he says, is lower;
He's trying now some way to cut
His hair with a lawn mower.