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Newspaper Page Text
THE WOMAN OF IT
Literary Lady. (writing) The
'most essential point in our inter
course with children is to be truthful
ourselves. Every other interest
ought to be sacrificed to that of
Tommy Ma, Mrs. Caller is com
ing in at the gate.
Literary Lady (angrily) If she
asks for me, tell her I'm out of town."
(She resumes writing.) "When we
in any way deceive a child, we not
only set a pernicious example, but
also lose our influence over him for
UP AGAINST IT
"She 's thinking of getting married
y ina.1 so:
"Yes; poor thing. The Judge didn't
grant her alimony enough so that
she can live m the style to which she
-has been accustomed." Detroit Free
f TOLE BUM'- DISS'S
' HAMMOCK iss FoP E
4. ONLY guests!
BY VIRTUE OF AGE
"Yes," said the old man tojl&
visitor, "I'm proud of my daughters
and it is the ambition of my heart To
see them all comfortably married.
"What's more," he added knowing
ly, "I've made a bit of money in my
time, so my girls won't go to their
husbands penniless. There's Mary,
for example, twenty-five years old,
and a real good lass I'll give her
$1,500 on her wedding day. And to
Bet you see, she has passed her
thirty-fifth summer 111 give her, at
any rate, a couple of thousand;
whilst the man who takes Eliza can
rely on taking her with at least five
thousand of the very best."
"By the way," inquired the young
man, "how old is Eliza?"
"Forty," replied the elder.
"Hum! I suppose you don't hap
pen to have a daughter somewhere
between sixty and seventy?"
STOLEN FRUIT NOT SWEET
A benevolent old man invited a
number of small boys from the slums
to spend a day at his beautiful old
world country home; and among the
many good things which he provided
for them was a bountiful and wond
rous feast of strawberries and cream.
As the day drew to a close, wish
ing to impress the lads with a lesson,
their benefactor asked:
"Now, suppose, instead of having
been invited here to eat strawberries,
you had come and helped yourselves
when nobody was looking, would you
have enjoyed' the fruit so much?"
"Ah ! And why not? " asked the old
gentleman, inspired with a new faith
in young America's honesty.
" 'Cause, sir," came the sad and
prompt reply, "we wouldn't 'ave 'ad
no cream with 'em !"
o o r-
Bjones Don't you think a talk
ative woman is more popular with
the men than any other kind? Hen
peck What other kind is there?.