Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1943 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
fjP tBX Gene Morygairv T"" ' 1
Summer Microbes take their vaca
tions in winter. But when everybody
is fagged out by the warmth and
even icehouse janitors yearn to take
a siesta THEN the busy tittle mi
crobe begins the long, hard pull.
Summer Microbes are clannish
and collect in "cultures" which is
the deep stuff for "gangs."
These "cultures" work feverishly
in double shifts, making trouble for
the human race.
They are proud of the output, but
for private reasons do not put the
factory label on it!
Scientists often take years to dis
cover .the microbe mill-hands on the
"Fresh, pure, country well water,"
is a byword for the tireless little mi
crobe and the old oaken bucket is his
favorite studio for turning out high
class bench work. The cheap ice
cream cone is another of his haunts,
and here he obtains cornucopious
results. But it is hard to convince
a large part of the public that the
cheap hokey-pokey ice-cream cone
makes the cone of a volcano look as
harmless as a fire cracker.
A nuinber of state legislatures
have snatched the microbe by his
Iong-tasseled ears. They have short
ened his working hours by making it
unlawful to chain a helpless cup to a
faucet in a park; also to the com
fclnation.of ice-wafer tank and cinder
trap in the railway day coach. .
The kissing microbe is., no doubt,
at large in summer time, but kisshig
is dangerous enough, anyway. So its .
ravages are not within the range of.
science to compute. When you see .
a young man loping along under the .
mid-day sun with an upper lip swol
len to the size of a radish do not
hastily assume that the bacillus os-
culatus has jabbed its spurs into his ,
kisser. Perhaps he has been in a
fight and somebody has swatted his -mouth
and knocked a dish out of his r
china pantry. Again, he may have ;
waxed sentimental and kissed a rose
whilst a humble bumble bee was
taking that rose's morning order for
The silly season microbe is the '
most baffling of all. It's the guy that i
put the silly in bacilli. Folks who get .
married in county-fair balloons, ob
serve sea serpents in inland lakes,
arrange mud-turtle marathons and )
gorge on cucumbers with ice cream
are awful examples of the work Of
this microbe. :
The baseball microbe :
OUCH! . 1
Alaska is reported to the Depart
ment of Agriculture to have some
20,000,000 acres of good land, where 5
grain, hay, and many other vege-y'
tables and fruits can be grown in a
climate superior to that of the thriv-
ing farming country of Finland.