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Newspaper Page Text
fHEftEURMS INTO A HARDWARE SToRe.
WHIGH IS A PLACE WHECK twv :pi i
HAJftftWARE AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
What business has adolf in a
iRDVJARE STORE ?
TWO POINTS OF VIEW
"Good-morning, Mr. Peck! Have
5?ou any strawberries?"
The grocer rubbed his hands to
gether in the most approved manner.
"Yea, madam," he replied; "there
are plenty of strawberries in the win-
Wow. We're selling them at 18 cents
a box today!"
"Eighteen cents a box! Those
strawberries! But they're miserable
looking little things, and so green!"
"I know,. madam; but really there
are not enough of them in a box to
do you any serious harm!"
'. o o
SUCH IS LIFE
The schweitzer cheese was young
T. and fair
x. aiiu iu nit rye uiaau ciuBeiy jay.
-Dutch mustard then arrived and was
Stuck on fair Schweitzer right
Then next a man with money came
.And got away with all the game. (
AN UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING
"Gentlemen," said the chairman c'
the local antiquarian club, "at our
annual dinner this year I am pleased
to announce we shall have a change
of menu. A member has promised
us a magnificent swan, so we' shall
partake at our happy gathering of the
fashionable dish of the day!"
The announcement was received
with much applause; and in due
course the evening of the annual din
The bird looked beautiful when
broughTTwith much ceremony, to
table, but unfortunately resisted the
carver's sharpest steel.
Some little time afterwards the
chairman met the donor of the swan.
"A nice trick you played on us!"
he exclaimed. "We couldn't even
carve your bird, let alone eat It!"
"You surely didn't try to eat that
bird!' 'replied the astonished donor.
"I sent it to be stuffed and preserve 1
by the club as a curiosity! It's bee '
in our family at least two hundred
o o i
A VALUABLE GALL
"Gentlemen," said the Terre
Haute man who had called his cred
itors together to tell them that he
was bankrupt: "I owe you over one
hundred thousand dollars, and I have
ho assets enough to pay you half a
cent on the dollar, I don't see hcv
you can get anything unless yo.i
want to cut me up and divide me
among you. Mr. unairman, spoke
a creditor, "I move that we cut him
up. I d like his gall.
CREATING AN IMPRESSION
"And your husband gave $50,000
for that old book?"
"Yes," replied Mrs. Cumrox.
"To show how much you care for
literature, I suppose ?
"No. To show how little we care