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Newspaper Page Text
RIGHT AFTER ALL
School Inspector (to the infant
class) Can a hen s,wim?
"Yes," says Maggie, with a signi
ficant nod of the head.
"What! Do you say a hen can
"Yes," with repeated nod.
The infant mistress is appealed to
regarding the instruction imparted to
"Maggie," says the infant mistress,
"surely you are not thinking. Do
you say a hen can swim?"
With persistent nod, Maggie says
Head master enters the room. In
spector calls his attention to Mag
gie's repeated answer.
Head Master (to Maggie) Do you
mean to say a hen can Bwim?
"Yes," says Maggie.
"Did you ever see a hen swim?"
"Yes; a water-hen."
Inspector confesses he has still
something to learn.
EVIDErtTtY ADOLF HAS CORRECTED A
SMALL OVERStGtfT MADE OORlM.G HfS
ERRAKO OF YESTERDAY. HOWEVfcft, WE
joe cTii.i IM-THfc DAR.K AS Tn THE
pURPQ$5 Cr HIS INVESTMENT. TH&
WteTERY, IT MAY BE SAINTS "DEEPER
1 ' yX .
IfE BREATHLESSLY AWAiT FURTHER
An unexplained incident with a hu
morous side occurred at a railwa
station. A train was drawing out
from the station whn a man came
running along the platform. "Smith!
Smith!" he shouted.
In a car at the rear of the train sat
a passenger, who, hearing the cry,
thrust his head out of the window.
Immediately the runner on the plat
form struck him a smart blow across
Every moment the wheels were re
volving more swiftly, and before the
insulted passenger could call an offi
cial the train was clear of the station.
He went at once to the conductor.
"What kind of an outrage is this?"
he demanded. "Here am I, an inno
cent passenger, sitting quietly just
as the train pulls out of the station.
Suddenly a man runs down the plat
form shrieking 'Smith! Smith!' I look
out of the window, and he reaches
up and almost knocks my head off!
Now, I want to"
"Pardon -me," interrupted the con
ductor. "Is your name Smith?"
"No, it isn't, and that is just what
"Well, then, sir, what did you look
out of the window for? There wasn't
anybody calling you, was there?"
HE WAS BOSS
A man-of-war was lying off Gibral
tar, and permission was given to t' -?
men to go ashore for the day. Tho
sailors amused themselves in vario s
ways, among others by riding abou;
on donkeys; and their want of ex
perience in this line caused much
merriment. An officer, observing one
o the men sitting very far back on
the animal, instead of in the usual
position, called out:
"I say, Jack, get up more amid
ships!" With an injured air he replied:
"Well, sir, this is the first craft that
ever I commanded in my life and it's
hard indeed if I can't ride on tho
quarter deck if I like."