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Newspaper Page Text
the midst of them, commissioner," he
heard the captain saying.
"You are accused of attacking the
parade of Loyal American Hiber
nians, Flaherty," said his captain.
"Also of attempting to purloin one
flag, the property of the organization.
What have you to say?"
" 'Twas the strikers wid their red
flags I fought, and alone," cried Fla
herty. ' "Red flag!" snorted the commis
sioner. "Since when has the red flag
been the symbol of Ireland's glory,
my man? That flag was as green as
the emerald grass of Ireland."
" 'Twas as red as as that!" cried
Dennis, pointing to a tattered emblem
in a corner of the room.
"Begorra, that's the very flag!'
yelled the captain. "He's drunk still,
"I think this is a case for Dr. Mc
Dermott" said the commissioner
smiling. "It's all right, my man," he
added. "You can go home on sick
leave now. I think, Captain, if Mc
Dermott agrees with my diagnosis, I
may revoke my order concerning
desk duty in this special instance."
"You see, Nora," explained her
husband afterward, "with every Irish
man in town hungering for me blood
why, they thought a whole cop at
the typewriter was better than twinty
pieces of one making work for the
street paving commissioner."
(Copyright by W. G. Chapman.)
WILL WOMEN STAND FOR THE TROUSERINE?
All hail the trouserine! It consists of a trouser just baggy enough
from the knees up to satisfy the law which forbids women to dress like men,
and close-fitting enough from the knees downward to permit milady to
negotiate a high car step freely.
In short, it is an improved bloomer under another name.
It remains to be seen, of course, whether our sweethearts and wives
will have the good judgment to adopt sosensible an improvement upon
the traditional skirt. The writer hereof, a mere man, confesses to doubts.
He has never been able to discover the sense in a cramping skirt for women.
Especially in these days of the emergence of the sex from old ways and
their eager entry into business competition with men.
Granted the need of a distinctive garb and the charm of one which ex
hibits feminine refinement But can the skirt, by any stretch of the imag
ination, qualify under this specification?
It isn't warm. It isn't sanitary. It is a hindrance to free movement
And isn't the only reason we think of it as graceful because custom has
familiarized us with it as an incident to the graces of its wearers?
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet; and a graceful woman
would still be graceful, though she had the courage to don a costume which
gave her increased freedom and comfort.
But we're well aware that to argue the subject merely pastime. Argu
ment doesn't set fashions. So those of us who hope sometime to see Amer
ican women dressed for efficiency as well as for distinction can do nothing
but hope that Providence will find the way.
"Do you call this a pint?" asked a
sharp servant of the milkman, whom
she suspected of giving short meas
ure. "Yes," replied the man. "Well,
it won't do," said the girl. "When we
want condensed milk, we'll buy it at
Louis Bleriot, who flew the English -
Channel, says: "We'll be flying
across the Atlantic just as soon as
there's sufficient commercial de
mand for an aeroplane that will do
it." We will not Louis. You don't