Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Ifek- -; : 3 I
ill yM ,
, SAVING MONEY
Prom the old church tower the witching hour
boomed out in solemn grandeur, and from the
shadows emerged a gay old gentleman.
He took up a position in front of the house of
the new doctor and gazed upwards at the darkened
windows. Next he pulled himself together, and
pulled at the doctor's bell; nearly tearing it up by
"Doctor doctor, come quickly!" he cried. "It's
a bac' case up near the common! Don't delay."
The youthful medico came bustling downstairs,
and hustled his horse between the snafts of his
gig. In three minutes they were off, the excitable
gent sitting beside the practitioner,
"That's the house that one!" yelled the B. G.
at last, at the end of a spanking drive of five miles
at least "But what's your fee, sir?"
"Oh, two dollars!" came the reply, "for an or
dinary night visit!"
"Then here you are, sir!" remarked the excit
able gent. "There wasn't a cabby In the place who'i
bring me for less than four dollars!"
-j 0 0
THE STRAIGHT TIP
Old Farmer Brown trudged up to the parsonage
to pay his tithe-money, and, like most people who
have to stump up cash for taxes, he was not particu
larly bucked about it.
He was shown into the diningroom, where the
parson's wife was entertaining a noble company of
ladies to high tea, and sat on the edge of the chair,
twiddling his hat and awaiting the pleasure of the
"Ah, Mr. Brown, said Mrs. Parson sweetly,
beaming upon the old boy in her best patronizing
manner, "and how's farming?"
"Farming, ma'am?" replied the soil-tiller unen
thusiastically. "Well, farming's all right, ma'am.
I've got thirteen calves, but one on 'em don't take
his vittals well, somehow."
"Oh!" said the vicaress. "And what does the
poor thing do?"
"Do?" queried Farmer Brown. "He does what
I'm a-doing now sits down and watches t'others
She We women are all misunderstood.
He Well, you never saw one who tried to make
herself plain, did you?
' o 0
"There is a story in that woman's face."
"Yes: and she made it up, too."