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Newspaper Page Text
SIMPLE TO EXPLAIN
Sweet and coy -were they dear
young tnings enjoying a nae in tne
rear side by side. A was twenty-five,
perhaps; B. a shade younger.
"And how many children have
you?" asked B., all smiles, of her cap
"Eighteen," came the pert an
swer. "And how many have you?"
A., by way of reply, remarked that
she had one-and-twenty, at wl .jh the
dear, motherly old spul in tl.3 corner
-eat .bolt upright, sc6rnfully, like an
aged hen erecting its feathers pre
paratory to a bitter battle.
Madam," Inquired the M.O.S. of
Miss A., "did I hear aright? Do I
understand you to say that you have
more than a score of children? Why
this fanciful flippancy from one so
At this the Misses A. and B. glanced
at each other. Then t.hfiv hurst nut-
MjSlnaughing gaily and uproarously.
"Oh," said Miss B., we're school
teachers, you know!"
THE UNIVERSAL DEMAND
By Berton Baley.
There isn't any doubt at all
We need to raze the tariff wall.
The Cost of Living's far too high
And everything we have to buy
Is in some measure, small or great.
Affected by the tariff rate.
So let us watch our congressmen
And urge them on with word and pen
To cut each unjust du.ty down
For country folks and folks in town,
And thus to drive the wolf away
Who hovers round the door all day.
It's true there are some duties which.
But serve to make the nation rich'
And do not boost the prices much
Such rates, of coursewe shouldn't
We'll slash things all along the line
Except upon your goods nd mine.
The Irishman who went up in. a
hotel lift without knowing what it
was did not recover easily from the
surprise. He relates the story In this
"I wint to the hotel and, says I,
Is Mr. Smith in?'
" 'Yes,' says the man with the
sojer-cap. "Will yez step in?'
"So I steps into the closet, and all
of a suddint he pulls the rope, and
it's the truth I'se telling yez the
walls of the building began running
down to the cellar.
" 'Och, murther!' says I. 'What'll
become of Bridget and the children,
which was left below there?'
"Says the sojer-cap man: "Be aisy,
sorr; they'll be all right when yez
" 'Come down, is it?' says L 'And
It is no closet at all, but a haythenish
balloon that yez got me in!'
"And wid that the walls stood stock
still, and he opened j the door, and
there I was with the roof just over
my head, and, begorra, that's what
saved me from goin' up to the hevine.
entoirely!" "Vm ,