Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1949 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Pf THE LtMOKADE BOY THREW
( THt BALL TO TH CATCHER: (
IS THAT AN ASSIST OR. A
. POT-OUT- .
A teacher, instructing her class on
.the composition of sentences, wrote
two on the blackboard, one to exem
plify a misstatement of fact and the
other to illustrate bad grammer. The
sentence thus read as follows:
"The hen has three legs. Who
The teacher then called to one of
"Harry," she said,- "go to the
blackboard and show where the fault
lies in those two sentences."
Harry slowly approached the
blackboard, evidently thinking hard.
Then he took the chalk and wrote:
' "The hen never done it. God done
Trouble is a unnecessity. If a fool
insults you, it doesn't matter. A
i blackguard can't A gentleman won't.
,But if a ordinary, honest, common'
;. citizen does, run like the very devil,
for the chances are he's right.
" , HE'D BREAK 'EM jj
A new fast bowler was being triecfi
for the village club. He stood seveij '
feet highland had a pair of Sandof
Whizz! came the first ball, like d
bullet from a rifle; there was a crash
and one of the stumps was sent back
to the pavilion with a request for. a
new one. Three other stumps were?
wrecked in the first over, but &U
though the spectators cheered, , theH
captain of the fielding side wore a,
very worried look. '
"Don't put 'em in quite so fast, if
you can help it," he remarked, to the
"Not so fast?" queried the bowler,
with a ten-horse scowl. "Why?"
" 'Cos it's a hard-up club you're
playing for," snapped the skipper,
"not a firewood factory."
So Mulhall hornswoggled Willie
Hearst and friends, "including a dec J
gyman." Oh, Lord! 1