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Newspaper Page Text
TH HOUR BREATH
IM rtAF HIN ,
tfv OlTOES CAM'-v I ,
3E O EF YOU (.
J I'D YOUR v j- -
DISTANCE NO OBJECT
"Miss Rose," said Freddy, blushing
fand bashful. "I'm eoine: to Mss you
;every time we get- between street
.lights on the way home."
4 Whereupon the young woman
clutched his arm and pulled him into
!? ?idfi street
"" "What's the idea?" asked Freddy,
jwondering if he had been overbold.
''It's twice as far going1 home that
fi "I know it," replied Miss Rose,
fn-,,3 J.Vrt-o, TtrJrd oe TYiatlV Qtrof
Sights." N. Y. World.
l '-.An American' canea upon to re
turn thanks for the distinguished
strangers at a public dinner, said:
''This is diiite unexpected; in fact,
(Tvhpn T oanie into this room I felt
ftemuch like Daniel in the lions' den.
When Daniel got mio mai piaceauu
JiWhoever's got to do the after-dinner
speaking, it won't be mer"
James gracefully pirouetted into
the dock and beamed affably upon
the Bench with a smile that utterly
refused to come off. An obese po
liceman squeezed into the witness
box and kissed the book with a sound
closely akin to that produced by a
cow extricating her hind leg from a
tenacious bog, then commenced:
"Ar' paws nine, Sattidy night, yer
washup I was on dooty in the Noo
Kent Road. Sor prisoner lyin' on 'is
back in the gutter outside tie Dook's
'Bad drunk an' incapable, an' took
'im inter custody, yer washup."
"This prisoner is well known here,
isn't he? His face seems very fami
liar." "This 'ere, yer washup," remarked
the fat policeman, ,with ponderous
emphasis, while James' smile widen
ed visibly, "makes the prisoner's
fiftieth appearance at this 'ere
"Dear me!" ejaculated the deeply
shocked magistrate. "This is the
fiftieth time I have been 'obliged to
pass sentence upon you. You're an
incorrigible. What are we to do?"
The unregenerate prisoner's face
"Well, guv'nor, seein' as 'ow this
'ere is the occasion of our fiftieth
merry meetin', supposin' suppos
in' " leaning forward and in a con
fidential whisper "supposin' you an'
me goes over to the Blue Pig and 'as
a fair ole jubilee together?"
But the magistrate wasn't having
any, and just muttered:
' ONE ON THE COAL MAN
"Whyf Bridget!" exclaimed the
mistress, "so you're not going to
leave me after all? Why did you de
cide not to marry the coal man?"
"Well, I saw him yesterday for the
first time with his face washed, and
you've no idea, mum, how homely
he is!" N. Y. World.'