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Newspaper Page Text
Doggone It, misfortunes never do come singly. The state has turned 44 new lawyers loose on Chicago. That means a heap of trouble for somebody in the future. Even if lawyers are a necessary evil .there's no sense in getting 'em so many in a bunch. Sir Joseph Beecham, the English pill peddler, is in town. Joe made the Tnb feel good by telling hiw he had spent $5,000,000 in newspaper adver tising in five years. Sir Joe's father started the pill game and the family has been pump ing pills into Johnny Bull for lo these many years. Jhey are not the kind of pills our revolutionary ancestors pumped into Englishman at Lexington and Con cord, but they make our British cousins jump just the same. And probably out of gratitude of Britain's glad heart and empty bowels, they knighted Pill Peddler Beecham for his service to humanity. Herm Kohlsaat is now in his ele ment He is fighting women for not being for Puterbaugh. Brave lad, Herm. Go to it. The Chicago newspaper trust, and particularly Willie the Hearst, got another black eye when John Walker was elected president of the Illinois Federation of Labor. And the Hearst papers are still on the unfair list of both the Illinois and Chicago Federations of Labor. Hearst bit off more than ha could chew when he started into mop up the state with organized labor. The thing is now the other way around, with Hearst being used as the. mop. If the Tribune had half of the pa triotism and one-tenth of the courage of Mrs. Medill McCormlck it might jeally be a great newspaper. We haven't yet heard of any of the McCormick or Patterson heirs who would make as good a manager of the Trib as Ruth Hanna McCormick. She gave another exhibition of fearlessness whenshe took up the fight for the department store clerks. And we hope she will never quit that fight until the clerks in Chicago department stores get a living wage. C. Marconi narrowly escaped in jury at Bologna, Italy, in auto acci dent. Second accident he's been in in a few months. Chicago is bad enough in the auto smash-up game. The question arises is Bolognawurst? And the office boy says, "Id hate to be a liver down there." o o YOU BET! miiYmi" I-, An American and a German were arguing about their different navies. "Oh," said the German, "there is always something the matter with your navy. Only yesterday a battle ship was fast in the mud." "Well," said the American, "if a battleship is fast in the mud it would be a record-breaker in the open sea." ' -o o The life of an average horse in bondage is twenty-five years; the wild horse's age is about thirty-eieh years.