The day book. [volume], November 01, 1913, LAST EDITION, Image 24

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
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CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS
Ladles, here is a real husband. When we add that he is also an editor,
you will not fail to see that he is pretty considerably anomalous, for being
a real husband and a newspaper man simultaneously is an immortal work
of art.
Tom Rees owns the State Register, at Springfield, 111. He was ap
pointed commissioner- jo the South American republics for the Panama
Pacific Expo, and so he and Mrs. Rees or, perhaps it was Mrs. Rees alone
packed their grips and prepared for a nice junket. Tom even bought a
new safety-razor. Really, Tom spared no expense, for a second honey
moon trip at government expense is both rare and delicious, as any editor
will testify who has dared to risk a second honeymoon. But, alas! just as
they were ready to start, Tom learned that women were not to be allowed
on the battleship that was to convey the commissioner. What did Tom do?
Did he tell Mrs. Tom to unpack her satchel, stay at home and send him
a wireless message daily at $4.31 per word? Did he appeal to the govern
ment for special dispensation? Did he protest against Eveless battleships?
Did he weep and roar at putting aside the ambrosia of the gods that was
at his very lips?
Again we ask, what did Tom do?
We put this question again, ladies, because there should""toe a pause
before all great climaxes, since a proper pause permits' psychological prep
aration for shock.
Tom did none of the things we have mentioned. He unpacked both
grips and wired the government that if he couldn't take his wife with him,
the South American republics, the government and the commission might
go to the devil, or words to that effect, and" Tom has been married for 12
years.
Tom probably has all the weaknesses that are ordinanly accumulated
in an editorial career, but we unhesitatingly present him as the champion
husband. '
We have the champion baby, prize-fighter, golfer, tennis player, base
ball team, rifle shot, pie-eater and what not. Above them all towers the
champion husband, and we insist that, up to date, Tom Rees holds the title
and wears the belt. However, any lady reader having a husband who
seems to approach Tom's class will confer a favor by writing Mrs. Thos.
Rees, of Springfield, 111., giving record of performances and other specifica
tions. Remember, however, that it must be a husband who has done some
thing nobler than refusing to go on a spree at government expense because
his-wife couldn't go along. Another qualification is that it be a husband of
at least 12 years' standing. A recent corralled husband, in the profound
silliness of the first honeymoon season, might equal Tom's deed, while a
dozen years later he would tie wifey to the family refrigerator in order to
board the battleship in comfort.
Ladies, is not Tom Rees the champion husband? Speak up! Don't
be ashamed of your husbands!
: o o
DOMESTIC LEGISLATION
"My wife would make a good con
gressman." "Why?"
"She's always introducing bills in
to the house!" Judge.
ARBORICALLY SPEAKING
"What do you think of my family
tree?"
"The tree may be a good one, all
right, but looks to me as if the crop
was a failure." Judge.
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