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Newspaper Page Text
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t(l IDENTIFIED . A smaU boy, who appeared to be st in the street, stopped a gentle- Q. iian who was strolling past him. JTlease, sir," the lad said timidly, L'iHave you seen a lady near here?" wny, yes, answerea me genueman, JU've seen several!" "Well, have you seen- one without a little boy?" the Nad asked anxiously. "Yes." "Well," d the boy, as a look of relief cross ed his face, "I'm the little boy. i Where's the lady?" - o o GUJLTYJ A man who was going for a day's fishing discovered, when he reached the selected stream, that he had dropped Ms lunch on the way, so he Jefaced his steps until he met a sat- Isfled-lookm& tramp, wno was seaieu by the roadside under a tree picking his teeth. "Did you pick up anything in the road?" inquired the fisherman. "No, Blr, I didn't pick upnuffing! Couldn't a dog have found it and ate Lit, up?" jjliHI SI6NeD H'lT! Jggj L4:- i JSP ml 'si i Tin iSfl' I 1 4 i uW IN THE PUBLIC EYE After all, the train was only forty minutes behind time, so the station master was perfectly justified in feel ing pleased with himself, the railway and the world in generaL A solitary, waiting passenger was morbidly weighing himself at an automatic machine, and when he stepped off it the jovial official pro ceeded to talk to him. "Wonderful thing the railway sys tem, sir!" he chirped. "I do really believe that even the general public is at last beginning to realize the marvelous "improvements 'that have taken place on this line in recent years!" "That's true," answered the mor bid one. "I know of no line that has so many things constantly in the public eye as this one!" The station-master was delighted. "I am more than. glad to hear yon say so, sir!" he chuckled, rubbing his hands together. "And would you mind naming them?" The waiting passenger looked pen sively -down the platform. "Cinders!" said he. o o INDUSTRIOUS HOUSEWIFE Mrs. Jinks What do you think? A thief shot at Mrs. Bingle while she was sitting in her room, and the bul let lodged in a ball of yarn which she was winding. Mr. Jinks Well, well! Bingle is a lucky fellow, isn't he? Mrs. Jinks I should say he was! Mr. Jinks Yes, indeed, if he has a wife who darns stockings! o o BEST LEFT UNASKED A lady had just been introduced to her partner at a holiday dance, and was talking to him vivaciously. "Tell me," she said, "who is that .terribly homely man over there?". The gen tleman looked. "That," he said pon derously, "is my brother." "Oh!" gasped the lady, horrified. "Parddn me! Really, t did not notice the re semblance", '