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Newspaper Page Text
IT FELL NEAR 3ER
" FULL -BOCK, SCHNEIDER.
"AbL ON rr, SCHNEIDER," 1
' HoaEf?EiVFALLON rp,
5M.'. " HELPING HIM OUT
! j Conversation hung Are badly. There
dt;)were several mauers wmcn me
young man -wished to discuBS one in
particular; but somehow he could
not muster the necessary courage,
and the silence became really painful.
J "I was speaking with your father
t last night," he said at last, somewhat
"Oh, were you?" answered the
isweet young tnmg, jowenng ner
Ck-rrac 'TJSi mil of nwrft Wrtli
Sthlking about?" -
g "About the likelihood of war in
Mejpco. Your father said that If
-there was fighting he hoped it would
i'e soon be over."
" The sweet young thing smiled.
f "Yes," she remarked; "I know he's
-very much opposed to long engagements!"
Patient No, you
Everything depended on the tes
timony of one particular witness, and
of this the barrister was duly con
scious. "Now," he said, shaking a finger
warningly, "we want to hear just
what you know not what you think,
not what you've heard, or what
someone else knows, but just what
you yourself know. Do you under
stand?" The witness brightened visibly, and
by a happy smile showed that he fully
"Well, sir," he began, "it was like
this 'ere. Old Bill Grubbs said to me
that Thomas John's wife at any
rate, so he heard from Tom Payne
told Sid Lewis' best girl that her hus
band" The witness got no further. For a
minute it seemed that nothing could
save the judge from an apoplectic fit.
Happily he just managed to control
himself. The witness was ordered to
stand down, and the case proceeded.
A FINAL FAREWELL'
A Frenchman, staying at a London"
hotel, when presented with his bill
paid it without formal protest, but
was most indignant at its amount.
"I vish to see ze proprietaire' he said
to tho clerk. In a minute fixe pro
prietor appeared. The Frenchman
was all smiles. "Ah!" he exclaimed.
"I must embrace you!" "But why
should you wish to embrace me, sir?"
asked the astonished botelkeeper. "I
do not understand." "Look at zees
bill!" "Yes; your receipted bill. What
of it?" "What of it? Simply zees,
zaire; it means zat I shall nevaire, no
nevaire, zee you again!"
Private Jimson was relating his ex
periences of the Boer war. He said
he was once taken prisoner, and the
Boers stripped him of all his cloth
ing. "Did you feel the cold much?"
asked a pal. "No," replied Jimson.
"not at alL You see, they carefuflj;
covered me with their rifles, - .