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Newspaper Page Text
PECCIbUV VEN WE
RAH-RAH!? J .
RAH -RAW I 2-
DElBESSf V l
DELTORQ' , ))
A .- AN IMPROVEMENT
Yq A yaung man called the other day
gn al certain financier, wno insisted
on'snowtng him over his magnificent
private house, informing him not on-
yavjhjy where he purchased every article
f m it, but the price ne paia tor it.
When he had finished he asked his
visitor if he could suggest any im
provement in the arrangement of the
house. "Well," was. the reply, "if you
were to mark all tne goods in plain
figures it would save you a good deal
I3t . o-o
-w i iiv tin ago ovuuuiumaini nau puil-
vcu iuui mo yui.j -uiaugu nuuo, auu
'moo A-mlniniTin- tct hia plana Vinto- nil
e implements were useless but for
the modest bone handle. "Which
part of the knife, therefore, do I
ff anak'e the most use of?" he asked.
" rA.-ifA 4 4L fm4- nf 4-r 4ilir.rt vwwm4
YKVyy at cue ivui "i t"c tmoo yiuiuyi.-
responded: "Please, sir, the cork
THE VALUE OF INSIGNIFICANCE
Paddy once found himself in "
position that would have embar
rassed anybody other than an Irish
man. Paddy was charged unjustly, of
course with having removed the
greater portion of a po'tato crop be
longing to his neighbor and friend
Murphy. Murphy, who was a man
of uncompromising and dogged per
sistence, had produced aN string of,
witnesses and an amount of, evidence
sufficient to have hanged a regiment.
In the minds of Paddy's friends,
his fate was sealed when the judge
asked if there was any person could
vouch, for his character. A hush fell
on the court Paddy said after
wards: "It was that quiet you could
have picked a pin up!" then up
spake Patrick: ' -
"Sure, yer honor, "there's the po
lice inspector yonder!"
"Me, you scoundrel! I've neve
seen or heard of you In my lifea? 1
everyone knows it!" shouted the in
spector. This was Paddy's chance.
"Take notice yer honor take no
tice that the Inspector hasn't seen
me or heard of me me that's lived
hereabouts for fifteen years! NHow's
that for character?"
And Murphy scowled as Paddy left
the court without a stain on his reputation.
A TRIFLING FAULT
A man who had bought a wel'
known impressionist artist's picture
wished the painter's opinion on the
hanging of it, and invited him to iiinr
ner. The artist expressed his approv
al of the background,-of the height
at which the canvas was hung, pro
nounced the light favorable indeed,
he said, there was only one particular
in which he would suggest any
change. "And what is that?" inquir
ed his host "Why," said the artist,
"I should bang It the other, way upl
I always Tiave!"