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Newspaper Page Text
HE FORGOT IT
An old cavalry horse was in the
shafts, and the officer was in a hurry.
Taking the reins from the driver, he
shouted "Charge!" and away the ani
mal galloped, stopping dead when he
Reached the barracks at the word
' The next morning an Englishman
anted to catch the-boat from the
uay, and the driver said: "Shure,
Qur honor, there ain't a horse in
njd Ireland who can go so fast."
LHe cracked his whip and shouted.
'Charge!" and away the horse went.
Nearing the dock, Pat yelled:
Jump for Heaven's sake. I've for
gotten the password!"
Tour cat made an awful noise in
he back garden last night, and "
I'm awfully sorry, Mr Houston,
ut since he ate the canary-he thinks
rfie can sing!"
AN OPTICAL ILLUSION
A young medical student, who was
learning the use of the opthalmo
scope, was told to examine a man's
eye and report uponthe condition of
it. He adjusted the instrument and
looked long and? searchingly into the
subject's left eye. "Most remark
able!" he ejaculated, with a surprised
look. Readjusting the ophthalmo
scope, he again carefully scrutinized
the eye. "Very extraordinary in
deed!" he exclaimed. "I never heard
of such an eye. This must be some
hew disease. Have you ever had an
expert's opinion on it?" "Once,"
was the laconic reply. "The man who
put it in said it was a fine bit of
The Mayor Have you heard, Mr.
Roche, that our generous townsman,
Mr. Harding, is defraying the cost of
a new promenade all round the
town? We think a wealthy man like
yourself might also do something
Mr. Roche Well, what do you say
to my giving you a park of oak trees?
The Mayor Oh, you noble-hearted
philanthropist! Why, do you really
Mr. Roche Yes, yes; 111 make the
town a present of an oak forest. You
have only to supply the land, and I
will supply you with as many acorns
as you will want for seed!
Two experienced anglers went fish
ing one day. One sat down on the
-pier, while the other stood. Just be
fore beginning operations they made
a wager with each other as to who
would make the bigger catch of fish.
They had been fishing for about
half an hourwith little or no success,
when John, who was standing, lost
nis balance and fell off tie pier.
As he went headlong past Dick,
the latter gave a yell and said:
"Hi, John, if you are goin' to dire
for 'jem the bet's olf!"