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Newspaper Page Text
I - s -
i fyS&SR IDEA OF PE0PLE""NX
pAWNS CHWSTMA3 A "BARBARIANX (
J2 ORfiV Uk?C A IKOIANTOTLATCH'. U
M e. BUT VEKE ISS yCj tf
SHE WON xr
Some little girls were boasting of
their respective families. They had
passed from clothes to personal ap
pearance, and finally came to par
ental dignity. The minister's little
"Every package that comes for my
papa is marked 'D. D.' "
"And every package that comes for
my daddy is marked 'M. D.' " retorted
the daughter of the physician.
Then followed a look of contempt
4 from the youngest of the party.
"Huh!" she exclaimed, "that's noth
ine: everv oackaee that comes to our
"house has three letters on it 'C. 0.
Y Mother What do you think you
fjwill make out of my daughter's
Professor (absent - mindedly)
out two dollars a lesson, if the
WANTED SOME HINTS
A gentleman from town, who was
staying in a country village, volun
teered to give a lecture on "Burns"
to the members of the local Mutual
Before a good audience he was
warming up to his sjubject and was
giving "The Cottar's Saturday
Night" in splendid style, when an in
terruption came from a working man
standing at the back of the hall.
"What is it, my man?" asked the
lecturer, breaking off.
"I was wonderin' when you was
goin' to give a few hints."
"Hints?" queried the puzzled lec
turer. "Yes, hints," growled the man at
the back. "I paid 50 cents to come
in, 'cause you was supposed to know
all about burns, and there you stand
saying poetry like a parrot, while my
missus, who's upset a saucepan of
bilin' water over her foot, is waitin'
to hear whether she'd' better souse it
with oil or shake the flour dredger
ONE ON THE DOCTOR
A certain doctor, who is, on his
own frank admission, "the ugliest
man in four counties," has a keen
sense of humor, which enables him to
enjoy many real and unconscious re
flections upon his facial deficiencies.
Once, after he had arrived too late
to succor a poor woman who had
been killed in a factory, the local
newspaper published an ambiguous
account of the case, which the doctor,
with grim appreciation, preserved.
Having first described how the wo
man had come by her injuries, the
paragraph went on to say:
"Strong hopes were entertained of
saving her life until Dr. P ar
rived; but these hopes unfortunately
proved ill-founded, for the moment
the doctor showed his face within
the door the poor woman fell back
iano holds out.
with a gasp and expired."