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pR"; JiifcDBR GOOT RES6U)TJ0M . MORE toA4n--Bl)TIEy HAf RUM OUT OI ftUesuew at wmw,,.,,... 7 jOiJLrs jr 4 TEAR ISS Sfcl&KltfG. IT GIVES MsOA !A5iS. BY FEdROARV YOO kgrCHOY A GOOT SMOKE . ifrnl tun n m j&$ ' WITTY JUDGE A -witty judge declared recently that "a patriot was a man who. re fused to button his -wife's blouse. A martyr," he went on, "Is one who at tempts and fails, while a- hero tries and succeeds." '"Then what is a coward?" asked a curious bystander. "Oh, a coward," replied the judge, "is a man who remains single so that hewon't have to try." . o o A JOLT! i. A solicitor called upon another member of the profession and asked his" opinion upon a certain point of law. The lawyer to whom the ques tion was addressed drew Tiimself up. know," he. said stiffly. " "I generally get paid for what I The questioner took half a dollar from his pocket and offered it to the other. "Tell me all you know and give me the. change," said he. j WRONG NUMBER A gentleman was staying in one c? our large provincial towns, when lie heard that Mr. Moneyboy, his part ner in business, was at another town close by, so he rang up his hotel on the telephone. "Is Mr. Moneyboy there?" he in quired. "No, he's not," came the response. "Well, has he engaged rooms?" "No. We don't reserve rooms here; first come, first served is our rule," came the sharp and somewhat airy reply. . He was rather taken back at the Ipfty independence they seemed to revel in in that town. "Can you tell me," he asked, "if he will stay with you when he reaches the town?" "It's possible he may. But we can't say." "Look here," roared the irate gen tleman, "you're the most impude: t jack-in-offlce that ever spoilt L.o master's business. Go away and tcl! someone who knows more about the business of the hotel to come and speak to me." There was a chuckle at the other end of the wire. "This isn't an hotel; it's the town jail," said the voice. The confused gentleman rang off sharp. HE HITBACK A clever lawyer succeeded in win ning his client's case and getting the better of a rather bumptious barris ter. The latter couldn't conceal his chagrin, and, meeting his victorious opponent in the smokeroom of the hotel at which they were staying, he remarked, in a loud and spiteful tone: "Sir, is there any case too dirty for you, or any criminal so muoh dyed in crime that you won't defend?" "No," said the other, in a quiet tone.. "What have you been doing1 now?"