Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
HE WOULTN'T COME AT FIRST. HA-HA
burr i got Him At last.
MATCHES WOULDN'T WARM HIM
. Anyhow, Jane thought it time that
the .marriage day was fixed, so she
threw out a gentle hint to her lover
by way of encouraging him. En
couragement, she thought, was all
the dear fellow wanted.
"Nathaniel," she whispered, coyly,
"they're saying we're going to be
"Are they, though?" answered the
bstolid swain. "What a jolly sell it'll
be for them when they find out we
"LET 'ER FLY"'
"Just runjipstairs, Willie, and fetch
"Don't want to."
"Oh, Willie! If you are not kind to
yoiir new little sister she'll put on
her wings and fly back to heaven."
"Well, let her put on her wings
tjjana ny upstairs tor ner mgntgown.
HE DIDN'T GET WET
"It looks like rain."
HI beg your pardon." ;
"I say it looks like rain."
"The weather, my dear sir, is a
condition. Rain is water in the act of
falling from the clouds. It is impos
sible that they should look alike."
"What I meant was that the sky
looked like rain." )
"Equally impossible. The sky is
the blue vault above us the seem
ing arch or dome that, we call the
heavens. It does not resemble falling
water in the least."
"When, then, if you are so thunder
ingly particular, it looks as if it would
- "As if what would rain?"
"The weather, of course."
"The weather, as before stated, be
ing a- condition, cannot rain."
"The clouds then, confound you!
I may not know as much about it as
you do, but I've got enough sense to
get in out of it, and you haven't,"
said the man, as he raised his um
brella and' walked away, in ahu
o o '
HE WAS NOT DUST
There is a certain long-suffering
father whose nerves sometimes give
way under the constant fire of ques
tions from his talkative 8-year-old
"Dad," asked the youngster, just
as the old man had one evening set
tled down for a perusal of his news
paper. "Dad, am I made of dust?"
"I thirik not!" responded the un
happy parent. "Otherwise- you'd
dry up now and then."
Some one had left a button on the
table in the restaurant in place of a
"Ah, well," philosophized the wait
er, "everything comes to him who
waits." N. Y. World.