Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1777-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
eoijLY. iQOtre forgot
A APPOINTMENT TOR NOO Mu MY CHIROPODIST. I CAN BARELY MAKE T! RUNNING TO SEED Newly wed, very happy, utterly In 'experienced, and really rather igno rant they were all these things. And they had a new house, with a little garden at the back, of which though neither of them knew much of matters horticultural they were both inordinately proud. "Dolly," he cried, bursting into the house one afternoon, "there's some asuaraeus lust ready fbr ' eatinfc. 'Come! You shall gather the first 'fruits from our garden." there was nothing she would like .'to have dohe more. But, alas! as paragus gathering was not one of her strong points. In fact, she didn't ev6n know what the stuff looked like Tin its natural state. So, anxidUB hot !tto "give -herself away," she decided 'to "be cautious. "No, John," she said; "you'd bet ter do the cutting. You're taller than lam. I'll hold the ladder!" - EVIL INFtUFNQES Sam had bad a rare good Christ mas, and was returning to the office feeling, as he put It, "like a two-year-old." He had leaped from his bed feeling ready for anything, had had a re- M markaply good shave, made a splen did breakfast in snort, au was ngnt with the world in his eyes! On his way to the station he hap pened to meet his old friend Clem Brown. "Hello, Sam!" said Clem. "How axe ypu feeling?" "Fine!" said Sam. "That's funny, for you look abso lutely worn out! Too much Christ mas what?" ! "Oh, I don't know, I " "Seems to mp, oljl man, you're-in for a dose of 'flu'! You -say you feel all right?" "I ivas all right when I got up this mornjng, but I IlQt W I haven't got a bft of a uStKtachg coming on," "P&l the palma of your handa got ting hot? "Why, now you mention It, I do I" "That 'flit' alT right! You take my tip and. go home, old man!" And Sam went home, and sent for Tthe doctor. Such is the power of suggestion! o--o NOT THAT WAY WeU, John," said the doctor, who had been rather rudely roused from his . afternoon nap, ."what's wrong With you?" "I'Ve sprained my wrist rather bad ly, sir," explained the blacksmith of the village. The doctor examined the wrist, and looked grave. "Thomas," he caUed to his surgery boy, "go upstairs and bring me down that! phial on the table." With indignation in his face, the blacksmith started to his feet. "File!" he yelled. "No, you don't! If this hand's got to coine off, you'll use a knife or an ax!"