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Newspaper Page Text
BIGGEST WORKING AMERICAN
NEVER TAKES A DAY OFF
Sam Irwin "Snapped! Beside His
Sam Irwin of Three Rivers, Mich.,
is the largest man inAinerica jvho is
ftfe engaged in active work. He is 44
years of age, 6 feet talli and weighs
480 pounds. He drives a transfer
'bus and makes on an average 14
trains a day every day of the year.
He also makes about 30 privtae calls
daily. During the past 18 years he
has not lost a day because of sick
ness or for any other reason.
His waist measurement is 70
inches, chest 67 inches, thigh 32.
inches, biceps 22 inches. He wears
a No. 13 shoe and a No. 10 hat. His
tailor uses 6 V. yards of cloth for
every suit of clothing. He is mar-wed,
By Fred Schafer.
A nice young' man working at a
bank always gets into some kind of.
It is impossible for a lover not to
have a rival.
"Cutaway coats, walking sticks and '
a medium-sized bay window are
much affected by society villains.
When a girl is anguished, she cov
ers her face with her hands and then
lets them slide off gradually to clutch
at her swan-like throat. , -
Lovers who are parted always look
back over their shoulders at each
other, prolonging the agony.
Railroad engineers can't leave the
yards and start home without being
bombarded with temptations to take
a drink; the tempter is ever mali
ciously "alive to the fact that the en
gineer is in danger of losing his job
if he drinks.
A man otherwise bad must always
melt at the innocence of a child.
Nobody -going on a journey ever
takes time to pack. All journeys are
undertaken in frantic haste.
NEVER CAN TELL
William Tell and the Austrian gov
ernor were' discussing the morrow's
"I can shoot that apple off with my'
eyes closed," said the Swiss hero
The Austria smiled grimly.
"You never can, Tell," he answer