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Newspaper Page Text
jqwdw; te'EPiKar "''7' C
CUT OFF A QUARTER'S WORTH
"How much do you charge for cut
ting off a dog's tail?" said a small
boy to a veterinary recently, exhibit
ing, quarter in one hand and lead
ing a lean canine with the other.
"The operation customarily costs
a dollar, but I will do it for you for 50
cents," replied the gentleman ad
dressed. ' 1
The boy looked at the coin in his
hand disappointedly for a moment,
but his face brightened. He stuck out
.his hand" which contained the coin
and said; "That's all I've got. 'Cut
off a .quarter's worth." National.
' TOLD THETRUTH .
Fortune-teller You are going to
have money left you.
J Customer Glad, to hear it. I've
"only got a dollar to my name:
I Fortune-teller Well, after paying
THE SMALL-TIME MINSTRELS
"What yo' got yo' nan' wrapped up
wif tape fo', Mistah Huckleberry?"
"Dat am to insulate it, Mistah Per
simmons. "Ah done had a accident."
"What kind ob a accident?"
"It happen las' night. Ah wuz at
de kitchen sink when Av got tangled
up wif a short circuit. Ah wuz turn
in' de faucet wif one nan' an' wif de
dodder Ah feel fo' de switch an' gets a
shock. Ah jes' yells, 'Great Johoso
phat!' Dat what Ah yells 'Great
"Yo' ougtn' yell dat. Yo' ought to
said somethin' 'propriate recite De
Charge ob de Light Brigade,' or
somethin' lak. dat."
"Huh, how'd Ah know what to say
Ah ain't had no electricution les
sons!" "Say, Ah heard yo' got married the
"Yassah. Ah married de-Widow.
"Any children?" .
"Only Foster children."
"Does dey lub yo'?"
"Dey shore does. Yo' ought to see
dem children climbin' ober me even
"Ah see dey finks deir step-fad-
der am a stepladder."
Music "When It?s Pickle-Picking
Time in Tennessee." (There's a Cu
cumber in the Heart of the Cumber-
HE DIDN'T DARE
"Indeed," the lecturer went on, in.
a quizzical way, "I believe I am jus
tified in assertine that nine womta
out of ten practicallypropose ft) thte
men they become engaged to. As a
test I Vouirf ask all married men In
the audience whose wives virtually
poppied the question to them to rise."
There was a subdued rustle in the
auditorium, and in the dense silence
that ensued could be heard sibilant
feminine whispers in concert; "Jusfc
me you wiu nave one left youi
you dare stand up!" .