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Newspaper Page Text
He SEEMED To understwt
I Do HOPE IT VUb RESUJ-T
IN A BETTER UNDEffSMNDK
BfcTVEEN 3EM -"TEACH UEWV.
Xx?T1Y CAN TRUST
SAcn OTHER. J
SAVED HIS MATE
Two men ' were shooting, little
knowing that a policeman was
Watching them from behind a hedge,
for his suspicions were aroused. Sud
denly he darted out into the open and
came upon them.
"I want to see your licenses," he
Immediately one of the men ran
fiaway as hard as he could go. Con-
tjviuucu uuw iuttt uis Buapiujuns were
n correct, the policeman pursued him
' Jgjp hill and, down dale for 'about a
coup.le of miles. At last he caught
iim, and again demanded ttie license,
LTo his .surprise it was instantly
. "What on earth did you make me
'T rim all thiswayfor. if you've -got a
iUicense?" cried the police officer an
i " n ,, 4. i.jh x ii,
ociuoc my uiulc uuun l gut une:
,,was the reply.
" THE SMALL-TIME MINSTRELS
"How'd yo lub to lib out in de
country, Mistah Huckleberry, wha
da' ain't miffin to do but run a dairy
an' milk about sebenty-five cows?"
" 'Scu-use me, Mistah Persim
mons! Ah'm done wif aquaculture."
"Yo' means agriculture, don' yo'?"
"Nossah! Aquacultmc. Ah had a
idea once Ah'd git me a place in de
rural regions wif plenty ob nice, pure
water, an' staht a frog fahm. Ah an
swered aad., an a lan' shark took
me out to show me a swamp he had.
Ah fallowed dat lan' shark all ober
it like a trained seal. 'Dis ground
am pretty low,'. Ah says, 'Yass,' he
says, 'an' de lower it gits, de prettier
it gits.' 'Do it ever git higher?' I asks.
'Yass, when it rains,' he says. Says
Ah, "What do- yo' do fo' drainage?
Says he, 'Oh, it am bound to run off
when it overflows.' 'Ef Ah starts to
raise frogs here,' Ah says, what Ah
goin' do till de frogs git market size?'
Says be, 'Raise ducks.' Says Ah,
'What Ah goin' feed dem ducks?' He
says, Yo' don' hab to feed dem ducks
dey eats frogs.' So Ah bought 20
acres ob watah wif 20acres of land
f rowed in."
"Hab yo gone over it "wif a plow?"
"No, but Ah hab gone over it in a
"Ah means de land not do
"Ah means bofe. De land am un
der de watah. It was frowed in."
"Yo'll hab difliculty in irrigatin' dat
"Ah knows dat. Nuffln left to dq -but
Music ''Moonlight on the Lake."
(All these fields are mine; won't you
have a bath?)
In an advertisement the principal
of a" school mentioned her lady as
sistant and the "reputation for teach
ing which slie bears," but the printer
left out the "which"; so the adver
tisement went forth commending the
lady's "reputation for teaching she
bears." " --