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The old man? -who acts as post master is often accused of reading the postcards that pass through his hands. He denies it. A lady called at the shop and' ordered a ham and a cheese. Two days later the lady call ed and asked why these two articles had not been sent. "Oh," replied the merchant calmly, "1 saw by the postcard yo' got yes tiday that yp' friends wasn't coming, so I nachelly thought yo' wouldn't A UCCU LX1C1I1 UllUgS. n, o-o WAKE THAT DOG During a recent burglar scare in a Yorkshire' town an eccentric old man bought a dog that was warrant- red a good house-guard.- When he retired for the night, the ;dog was fastened in the kitchen. " In the early morning a neighbor went to awaken him, and heard the fold man say to hia wife: v "Get un. Bet, and waken that doe: there's burglars in the house." FINE FIRE ' She was a splendid servant, but s-' 1 didn't know anything about gas cook with. So that she could see how the gas stove was. operated, ho lit each of the many burners. While still explaining a message called him from the kitchen, and- fie left her, saying, "I guess you will find, that it will work all right now, Mar tha." He didn't see the cook again for four or five days, then upon entering the kitchen" he said: "Well, Martha, how's that range doing?" To his utter consternation she re plied: " 'Deed, sir, that's the best stove I ever did see: The firewhat you kindled for me four days ago is still a-burning, and it ain't even lowered once." HE DIED ANYWAY Claude Fleming, the famous bp -tone, relates an amusing instance 1 "gagging" pn the stage in San Fran cisco. "Die, villain!" the hero of the drama said, and shot off,his revolver at the villain's head. But the gun didn't go off. Six times the hero pulled the trigger, and not a single explosion took place. The audience was getting hysterical, when the, victim struck an attitude and said: "Your pistol-has missed fire, Sir Reginald; but what differendoes it make? The thought that T was' to be shot has frightened me to death!" And he rolled over and died". HIS IDEA OF IT "George Washington" read the small boy from his -history; "was bora February 22, 1732, A. D." "What does 'A, D.' stand for?" in quired the teacher. The small boy pondered. "I don't exactly know," he hesitated, "After dark, I guess." Ladies' Home Journal.