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Newspaper Page Text
BY FRED SCHAEFER.
Teleefams are-always signed for in an fiirtreme hurrv. .The messenger boy neyer- lingers. to rubber at some thing m.tne place.' A wedding is seldom consummat ed'without a disturbance at the altar. Love at first sight is a violent thing; it affects the victim somewhat like a smash between the eyes. Heroines, have to be short, so they can look up into the hera's. eyes and let their small white hands steal up around his neck. s A night watchman is morally cer tain to take 'a hap. If there are goods piled up in front of a grocery, somebody has to fall all over them. There is never anything quite so instantaneous as an identification. A criminal is generally traced by his chauffeur. Nearly all criminals' have chauffeurs. It is nothing for an .artist to. paint a-portrait with his back to the sitter. o o THE LIMIT Mary Jane's master is eccentric. He always writes her a note instead of telling her what to do. The other day he sent home some note paper j with the usual die-sunk address printed on it. Mary took it in. The first thing she noticed was a note attached to it addressed to her. "Well, this is the last straw," said indignant Mary as she read the note. "Pie Inside This Package." HER -OWN "DADDY" FIRST "JOHNNY" TO SEND ROSESJ New York, Jan. 28. Just as Mil dred Richardson, 16-year-old chorus girl in "The Queen of the Movies," was about to go on at the Globe- theater, a few evenings ago, the stage manager handed her a wonderful bunch of roses, with this note: "To Mildred, from her first stage door Johnny. Daddy." And, sure enough, after the show was over, there was "daddy" at the stage door. He is W. E. Richardson of Bromley,Saskatchewan, Canada and" had made the long trip to New York, just to see his little girlimakq heribst stage appearance.