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Newspaper Page Text
- SOME- PUDDING
A yo.ung soldier, dining, ordered
some plum pudding. When it was
erved he sat for some time looking
IJ&t'it with an amused -expression.
Then he unbuckled his belt and un-
hfiuckled his tunic. The waitress,
who had been watching him curious
ly, now became alarmed, and she
hastened to fetch the proprietor.
r "Well, young man," said the latter
joh his arrival, ."what are you jip to?"
"Up to!" echoed the young soldier.
Jft.ii you WUU1U UKC LU l&UUW, X LU guiug
rto" try to jump from one plum to an-
Vother in that pudding!"
GOOD AS NEW ';
Barber Have you been- here" be
Customer Yes, once.
Barber I don't seem to remember
Customer un, u s neaiea up since
THE SMALL-TIME MINSTRELS
"What am ,dat trouble atween yo'
an' yo' wife, Mjstah. Persimmons?"
"Anyone ensued dat women fo'
divo-'ce, MIstah Huckleberry.
"Deah me, Ah'm exprised. Why,
las' week she gabe yo' a hand-painted
necktie she made herself."
"Yass, dat am in mah petition, too.
Ah got to prove cruelty."
"Oh, well, Ah'm separated from
mah wife mahself."
"On what grounds?"
"Nuffin much. We jes' differed
"Differed about amusements? In
what respec', sah?"
"Dar wuz a entire absence ob re
spec' on bofe sides, sah. '-We jest
couldn't enjoy ouahselves togedder
"Did you argufy much about
"Only when she used to hammer
me on de head wif a potato-masher."
"But, man, dat ain't no amuse
ment" "Huh, ef yo'd heerd her laugh, yo'd
fink it wuz!"
FOR PF&TECTION -
A small boy had been vaccinated,
and after the operation the doctor
prepared to bandage the sore arm
but the boy objected.
"Put it on tie other arm, doctor."
"Why, no," said the physician, "I
want to put the bandage on your sore
arm, so the boyslat school won't hit
you on it" x
"Put it on the other armrdoc,"
reiterated the small boy; "you 'don't,
know the- fellows at our .sctiooli"
N. Y. World.
Mr. Green rWhat a lot I. seem to
have learned tonight! How I have
benefited by this conversation with
you, my dear Miss Roberts! Some
how, your intellect seems to appeal
to mine. Are you a literary lady?
Miss Roberts No, I .am a teacher
in an infant school!