Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1949 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
NOT IN THE ORDERS
Jim's boss sent him up on the roof
to paint it. That was early in the
morning. Toward nightfall the boss
clambered up the ladder to see where
his workman was.
"Jim, yoii lazy piece, what you
"Didn't I send you up here to paint
"Why didn't you come down if you
'"'Deed, boss, you Jes' said paint de
idgt. Yo hevah said nufflh' 'bout
comih' down.:" Washington Star.
. lit rM rrn
a ceieDrasa vocaust was in a
motor-car accident one. day. A
per, after recording the accident,
-"We are happy to state that he
was able to appear the following
evening- in three pieces.".
Mr. Taft, when hewas in the White
House, rever overlooked an op
portunity for a joke. In the closing
months of his administration Henry
L. Stimson, then secretary of war,
wrote Mr. Taft a very urgent re
quest that he give a friend of Stim
son a certain Federal position.
Mr. Taft wrote to Stimson as fol
lows: "My Dear Stimson I am sorry I
cannot do anything for your friend
in response to your letter of today.
I would like to accommodate you, but
it is Impossible. Sincerely yours,
William H. Taft"
Under this he wrote:
Then Mr. Stimson read on the
other side of the paper:
"I couldn't doit today because I
gave the fellow ,a job yesterday."'
POINT IN HER FAVOR
The lovely girl, having lingered -a
minute In her room to adjust her
transformation, change the angle of
her Grecian barid and make sure that
her skirt fitted like the peeling of a
plum, descended to the p'arlor to find
the family pet ensconced upon the
knee of the young man caller, her
curly head nestled comfortably
against his shoulder.
"Why, Mabel! the young lady ex
claimed; "aren't you ashamed of
yourself? Get right down."
"Shan't do it, retorted the child.
'Il got here first" Ladies' Home
PUT IT OUT
"May I smoke here hvthe parlor?"
"No, Jack. Father ivould put you
out" . ...
"Put me .out? ,r
"I am afraid, so."
"Well, Madge." .
"Yes, dear:" , "1
"The lamp's smoking!" (An&thea
there was darkness.)