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Newspaper Page Text
THIS WHOLE DEAL STRUCK THE
CLERK AS REAL FUNNY
Warrant Clerk John J. Gardner of
the Court of Domestic Relations has
ministered to the troubles of thou
sands of married-couples since he be
came an aid ot judge umir, out none
of the misunderstandings were as
momentous as one which confronted
the clerk yesterday afternoon.
Gardner was dreaming about the
opening game at the Sox park in
April. He had just framed a fine alibi
for absenting himself from duty that
day, and could see Reb Russell step
ping into the box.
Just as the dandy southpaw was
about to pitch the first ball of the
1914 campaign Gardner was disturb
ed by the appearance of a woman
who wanted a warrant for her hus
"What's your name " queried the
"Mary Strudk, and I live at 216 E.
Ontario street," answered the wo
man. "What's the charge?" asked Gard
ner. "He struck me," replied the wo
"Who struck you?" demanded
Gardner, who is used to hearing such
complaints, and was still thinking
about Russell's first pitch, and hoping
it would be a strike.
"John Struck," snapped the wo
man. Gardner appeared peeved.
"Sure, John struck you," he said,
"but there are a lot of Johns in this
city. Who is he?"
"He's Struck," the woman at
tempted to explain.
"He's Struck," said Gardner. "Well,
who struck him? What is thisr a
"Nobody struck him. He struck
me, Mary Struck," explained the wo
man. Patiently Gardner repeated the
statement aloud. He turned it inside
out, walked all around it and tried to
get a little light on the tangle.
1 "Sec hove," ho finally explode, "iJ
this some joke. You say that nobody
struck him. John struck you, and
Mary struck. Who did Mary strike?"
It was plain that the woman pitied
Gardner because he couldn't under
stand such a simple proposition. She
repeated her statement. Still Gard
ner was puzzled, and the woman
finally started on a fresh explanation.
"Pay attention," 1 she demanded.
"My husband, John Struck that's
his name struck me, Mary Struck
that's my name. Can't you under
A light burst upon Gardner, and
he made out a warrant for Mary
Struck, against her husband, John
Struck, 1645 N. Wood street, charg
ing that he struck her.
It was very simple after an ex
planation. Johnny is still wondering whether
the batter would have struck that
first pitch of Russell's.
JUDGE HOLDS OFF ON LETTING
RAILROAD ISSUE BONDS
Because the Chicago & Northwest
ern Railroad failed to make proper
specification as to the use of its pro
posed $21,184,000 issue of bonds and
certificates, Former Judge Thompson
of the Illmois public utilities comniis
sion held up permission to the road
to issue the bonds. The Illinois law
differs from the Wisconsin statute in
that it requires complete specification
as to the use of funds derived from
the issue of additional bonds and certificates.
EVA TANGUAY WANTS EVERS TO
TELL OPINION OF MURPHY
Eva Tanguay today was awaiting
word from Johnny Evers, deposed
pnanager of the Chicago Cubs, tq her
uivnuuuii lu uie aaun secuuu uasc-
man to appear with her company at
a local theater and tell the folks
"What I think of Murphy." Miss Tan
guay yesterday offered Evers $1,000
for the first week, but he hesitated.
Then she increased the offer.