The day book. [volume], February 13, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
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( RPESH CEMENT,
V. BLEASe! J
t
THE MODERN BANDITS
Robin Hood What luck-today, my
merry men
Little John Beastly! Not a trav
eler have we met.
Robin Hood If times don't im
prove we'll have to form ourselves
into a company and build a hotel.
Maid Marian can be the cook; Alan-a-Dale
can furnish the music; Friar
Tuck can be the bartender; you, Lit
tle John, the clerk; and I I'll be the
head waiter. Puck.
LIGHT ENOUGH
A landlady, whose reputation for
over-feeding her boarders was not
great, brought in the supper-tray,
and after she had set the various
items before the solitary boarder she
Sfcsaid, "Shall I light the gas?"
w i ne lone one looKea at me scanty
ineal before him and replied:
"Weir tiv it isn't' nenesRarv the
Kupper is light enough."
WORSE STILL
"Absurd!" fumed the fussy com
mercial, as a -fellow-breakfaster en
tered the coffee-room. "Don't know
what these hotels are comin' to, I'm
sure; I've been here the whole bless
ed week, and can't get anythin of a
mornin' but eggs eggs eggs."
"But they're different eggs," ob
served his companion, sadly tucking
his napkin under his chin.
"Well, of course, they're different,"
snapped the -fussy commercial.
"Then be thankful for at least that
consolation," replied the other, "and
don't be too hard on hotels. I know
a place,, my friend, where I am given
a hot joint one day, renew its ac
quaintance in a state of frigidity the
next, toy with its mangled remains In
the form of hash on the third, flirt
with it among macaroni and tomato
sauce on the fourth, and probably on
the fifth detect it lurking yet again
in the recesses of a rissole!"
"Great Scott!" exclaimed the com
mercial, brought away from his own
troubles at last. "Where's that?"
"In a little place," replied the silent
sufferer, "called home!"
HAD READ"ROMEO"
She was very literary and he was
not. He had spent a harrowing even
ing discussing authors of whom he
knew nothing, and their books of
which he knew less.
Presently the maiden asked archly:
"Of course, you've read 'Romeo
and Juliet'?"
He floundered helplessly for a mo
ment, and then, having a brilliant
thought, blurted our, happily:
"I've read 'Romeo !"
HARDLY LIKELY
"Didn't Oliver Goldsmith once live
here?" asked the tourist. "
"I don't remember the name," said
the janitor. "Who was the gent?"
"He was a poet
"Then it's hardly likely that he
ever lived here, sir. We always de
mand! the rent in advance."