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Newspaper Page Text
The tramp looked shrewdly at Miss
Wary, and she returned his gaze with
equal shrewdness, but her expres
sion did not soften in the least.
"You see, it's like this, ma'am. Six
months ago I had a little home of my
own, but I made an unfortunate mar
riage. My wife's temper was such that
it kept me in hot water all the time."
"H'm!" said Miss Wary dryly. "It's
a pity there couldn't have been a lit
tle soap with it. Only six months ago,
did you say?"
HAD AN ANSWER
Olive and Gerald, while out walk
ing. met a vicious bulldog, and Ger
aid's conduct in the next few mo
ments left much to be desired. When
they had safely passed,. Olive turned
to Gerald and said, reproachfully:
"Why, Gerald! And you said you
would" face death for me."
"I know I did," answered Gerald,
"and I meant it. But that bulldog
lFTei?E'S ANVdjnqs I
I HATe. IT ISS .
AFFECTION ' i
KEEPING THE EVIDENCE WARM
An Irish soldier on sentry duty had
orders to allow no one to smoke near
his post. An officer with a lighted
cigar approached,, whereupon Pat
boldly challenged him to put it out
.at once. The officer, with a gesture
of disgust, threw away his cigar; but
no sooner was his back turned than
Pat picked it up and quietly retired
to the sentry box. The officer, hap
pening to look round, observed a
beautiful cloud of smoke issuing from
the box. He at once challenged Pat
for smoking on duty.
"Smoking, is it, sur? Bedad, and
I'm only keeping it lit to show to
the corporal when he comes, as evi
dence agin you!"
DOWN THE LINE
Colonel Major Jiggs, that bugler
didn't salute me. See that he is- pun
ished. Major Jiggs (to captain, of the com
pany) Bugler Jones, was it? Well,
see that he is punished.
Captain (to principal musician);
Punish Jones, he didn't salute the
colonel this morning.
Principal Musician (to corporal
bugler) Talk to Jones for not salut
ing the colonel this morning.
Corporal Jones, . me boy, you
didn't salute old straight-back this
morning. If this happens again you'll
get a poke under the eye." Top
N6tch. A NEW RENDERING
The teacher had noticed something
queer about the rendering of a cer
tain line, of a hymn frequently used
in morning school. Listening intent
ly, she traced the peculiarity to
"Sing it by yourself, Johnny,", she
commanded. Johnny did so? and in
stead of the line, "Weak and sinful
though we be," he gave as his render
ing, "We can sing, full though we be."
His chubby appearance might bo
taken as evidence of the probability
of his assertion.