The day book. [volume], February 18, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
Mi
t i
A PROPOSITION
"How's the family?" a fond parent
was asked.
"Well, my children are at a diffi
cult age now."
"Difficult? Why, they've all pass
ed the measles and teething stage,
have they not?"
"Long ago. But you don't know a
father's troubles. My children are
at the age where. if I use slang my
wife says 'I'm setting a bad example,
and if I speak correctly the young
sters think I'm a back number.
Which would you do?" N. Y. World.
o o
SINS WE OUGHT TO DO
; "Listen," said the superintendent
to the class of boys and girls, "which
one of you can tell me what sins of
omission are?"
"I can, sir," said a very small girl
with very large eyes.
"Well, let's have it, Sadie."
"They are the sins what folks
ought to have did and didn't, sir."
;Bf TCB VAY.
'& ISS
!.SkY6ACK,
LATE?
DEAR Cf?EA7lfRE
ISS TAWN6
HISS "BATH;
AND THEN
"Gentlemen." said the chairman of
the Old Rolllckers' monthly dinner,
"if I break this bone in two, whom
would it represent?"
Not many guesses came, for the
majority of the guests were past rid
dles at that time of the evening.
"Wishbone," boisterously suggest
ed one merry gent.
"Bopaparte bone-apart! See?"
corrected the chairman.
The merry gent in question was
particularly tickled at the answer,
and having reached his residence at
2 a. m., after various wanderings,
woke his good lady to impart to her
the excellence of his latest joke.
That dame, with indignation in ev
ery hair of her head, faced her recal
citrant spouse.
"If I had a bone, and broke it in
half, whom would it represent?" he
spluttered.
"Worm " she gasped.
"No, Napoleon my dear," he said
triumphantly.
o o
GOING UP!
Little Johnny was in a somewhat
uproarious condition, which was
brought about partly by a healthy
love of noise and partly by the near
approach of Christmas.
Johnny's father was in a state of
mind exactly opposite to that of his
son, and wanted, above all things, to
be quiet,
"Look here!" he said. "If you sit
quiet for the rest of the evening I'll
give you a new nickel."
"I'll do it, father, if youH give me a
dime," answered young hopeful.
"You ungrateful scamp!" said his
father. "Didn't I give you a nickel on
Saturday to be quiet, and now I am
offering you another?"
"That's all right, father. Saturday
was a cheap day; the price has gone
up since then. Make it a quarter!"
o o
He You have made a fool of me.
She Well, if I didn't, some other girl
would