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Newspaper Page Text
AS VJE WWpe?, M3U MD2,
SIDE BY 5106 IN STRESS
MAY NAU6HT OCCUR Tp
cause A SICrH,
OR CUT OUR FPIEMOSHIPS
TIE IN TWAIN.
Thomas Edison was one day dis
covered by a visitor experimenting
with a long coil of wir. He was in
the midst of his deep sea soundings.
"What is that for?" the caller
- "Making sounds," replied Mr. Edi
son, intent upon his work.
- "Ah!" said the other, with jocular
meaning. "What kind of note does it
: "The deep C, of course," replied the
'Inventor. Philadelphia Record.
r ONE WORSE
''My good friends," began the tem-
fperance orator, "drink i'the yoke
of the world. All the crime, all the
wars, all tfie heartaches of this uni
verse can be laid at the door of in
toxication. Oh, my friends, what
r3causes more misery man liquor?
Can anyone answer me that?"
- i'Thur-r-st!" yelled a little man at
PROVIDENCE AND THE CROOK
As a rule the habitual wrongdoer
bears little resentment toward the
detective who may have brought him
to justice. Neither is he always de
void of a blind belief in the workings
One known to the police as a
"chronic crook" met one of the detec
tives who had on several occasions
had unpleasant business with him.
"How are you doing now, Tom?"
asked the detective.
"Doing!" bitterly exclaimed the
crook. "You-and your pals have fairly
bottled our business."
"Well, how's the wife?" asked the
man from the station, whereupon the
crook nearly broke down.
"The missus," he said, "died a
month ago. It was a near thing that
the parish didn't have to bury her,
but" with a ring of heartfelt grati
tude in his voice "Providence was
very good, for it sent along a mug in
the neck of time, and I done him for
twenty dollars. Thank goodness, we
was able to bury poor Liz quite decent-like."
x HIS GUESS
A certain English nobleman had
taken a taxi-cab to the club. When
he alighted and paid the driver the
latter seemed to think his tip was too
"Wot's this 'ere for, me lord?" he
said, regarding with some contempt
the coin he held in his hand.
"Drink, I am inclined to think,
judging by your nose!" was the reply.
"Beg pardon, sir," observed the
tough-looking waiter, suggestively.
"Gentlemen at this table usually er
remember me, sir."
"I don't wonder," said the cus
tomer, cordially. "That mug of yours
would be Tiard to forget."
And he pieked up his bill and
strolled leisurely in the direction of
the rear of the hall.