The day book. [volume], February 25, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 10

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
when I was sick.. He took me. out to
dances when my husband did not
want to go. He and I were left alone
together when my husband went on
long fishing trips.
"Thought of wrong never entered
my head. My husband trusted us 1m
plicitly and we never had any desire
to betray that trust
"When I could' bear the unkindness
of my husband no longer, I decided to
bring my children to California to
be free. What more natural than that
Ted should accompany me? It was
the time when I needed him most.
"I will not give up my children for
I am right and am not afraid."
It is boresome, very, old chap, to
hear a proud father recite the merits
and virtues of his little son. When
such a parent opened' the subject with
me by referring to his boy, I unwitf
tingly asked if the lad were intelli
gent. Instantly the father swelled up
and said:
"Is he bright? Say, that little tyke
of mine haa wisdom gears like a col
lege boob in long junipers. He's a
real little owl. You can't pull a sum
in history or a date in mathematics
on him without he shoots the correct
comeback. The kid's teacher chirps
he's eight laps ahead of his textbooks
and he's never sported the dunce
cone on his bean. Say, he put the
smart in turpentine varnish."
My word!
DIARY OF FATHER TIME '
You women folks may wonder why
i have these flowing whiskers with
which I am always pictured, while
you have none. One reason is be
cause I don't like to shave and an
other because folks might not think
I am so old and wise if I had a smooth
face. About the shaving part of it,
though, the woman of today-should
be thankful to. the average pre-his-toric
man for saving her that daily
trouble.
Away back in the dim past, about
50,000 or 100,000 years ago, you
know, women had as much hair on
their faces' as the men. As man did
the', choosing of his matej it didn't
matter much how he looked, but his
one idea as to the desirability of wo
men' was that they must have youth.
In stealing or' buying a bride then,
the cave man always chose a young
girl.
When a girl's face became fuzzy,
it was a. sign that she was getting
old 'and her chances of mating were
slight. Women who developed beards
early were sure to be spinsters, while
those whose beards sprouted' late had
ah excellent chance.
Thus, through the intervening cen
turies, the males weeded out the
bearded ladies until they became ex-
.tinct. Unfortunately for the men who '
have to spend much time or money
to keep the foliage off their face,
there was no "one to perform that
cruel but kind service for them. Or
else they were lazy, as they might
have rubbed it off against the rocks,
of which there was a plenty. '
Mi I iiiiiiiiiib