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23S.' ' vfe 'I , , -jjC" ;- j. J?" PLAYING SAFE There was a terrible noise coming from the direction of the dining-room and the fond mother, alarmed, rushed in. On the floor, her son, aged 10, was "going through all manner of con tQrtions somersaults, both back wards and forwards. Bang, bang, he went. "Willie! Willie!" she cried. "What are you doing? You'll " For a moment Willie paused in his gymnastics. "Oh, it's all right, moth erj" he gasped: "You see, I forgot to shake my medicine before taking it like you -always told me to. So I hought I'd shake myself up as the Ittmedicine was inside me!" ' v o O-: TOP OFTHE PROFESSION : "He is one of the' leading lawyers Lofcthe town." p?'Gets pretty big fees, eh ? " J'I should say so. Why, it is .almost as cheap to buy a grand jury as to Bire him." HE NOTICED IT The old gentleman had returned to the home of his boyhood for the first time in ten years or more, and on the last occasion he had written "and wife" after his name on the hotel register. Of course, the keeper of the little tavern was glad to see him, and grasped' him warmly by the hand. "Ain't grown a day older than when you was here last," he said. "No?" said the old gentleman, half inquiringly. "Not a day," returned the tavern keeper emphatically. "Your " wife seems to have changed more'n you." "Yes?" "Oh, yes; leastways, she does to me. Looks thinner than when you was here last." "Indeed!" "Yes. She ain't near so fleshy as she was, accordin'to my recollection. Seems like she's taller, too; an her hair don't look just the same to me, an' an' " "And," put in the old gentleman softly, "she's not the same wife, you know." ' CORRECTTREATMENT A man went to a quack doctor for treatment. He had a sharp pain In ternally, and remarked that it might be caused by his habit of sucking the point of a lead pencil. The quack said he was suffering from lead poisoning, and' gave him some pills which, he said, would cure him. Next day the man came, back very angry. "A friend of mine has exam ined the pills you gave me," he said, "and they are only bread. "Of course they are," was the bland reply. "Don't you know that bread is the finest thing to remove lead pencil marks with? You didn't want me to give you india rubber bills, did you?" o o "I think all married men are beasts," -declared the wife. "They are," replied the husband, "beasts of burden." N. Y. World.