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8 2p I. Wo-FfcTTZ, iss dc comb , x proof nr. HE DID "Where's Tommy?" asked Mr, Jones, on his retiirn from business one evening. "Gone to bed," was his wife's reply, "I hope he's not ill.'' "No, I sent him to bed as a punish ment for swearing. ' "Swearing?" repeated Jones; "I'll teach him to swear. Without waiting for a light the an gry father rushed Upstairs to inter view the culprit, oiily to fall over a lodse stair-rod and bump his chin. At once he-became exceedingly fluent, and when the, air had cleared he heard his Wife call getttlyf "Better, come down, dear; I'm sure Tommy has heard enough for his first lesson." SO,OUT OF PLACE Nell I suppbBe it iB considered gallant to kiss a girl's hand. Belle Gallant, yes, but rather out T GETTING EVEN I Johnny squirted a ltit of dirty water through the" banisters on the lodger's head. Now that lodger was a nice young man a very nice man so he j did not say nasty things to Johnny or to ms iatner. But on Johnny's birthday he bought a little card of tools, compris ing a hammer, saw, screw-driver, etc. Together with these he purchased some tin tacks, and, putting them in to a small box, he glued the box to the card, and it looked very neat, as if it were part and parcel of the outfit of tools. "Now," lie said to Johnny, "you will be able to make things for your self. See how you will be able to drive tacks' in,' and suiting the action to the word he drove a tack into a piece of wood. "Now you do one," said he, handing the hammer to Johnny, and, of course, Johnny did. Later he drove another into his father's armchair and into the drawing-room table in fact, wherever there was wood to receive them. Before Johnny's father went to bed, the nice lodger scattered a few tacks on the stair carpet. Later a peal of "language" sounded through the stilly night The next morning when Johnny's father saw his furniture, of course he understood all, and he called his little son to him. And the nice lodger open ed his door a little way and listened with a satisfied smile upon his countenance. DIDN'T KNOW SHEEP "Now, Tony, if there were nine teen sheep in a field and seven jump ed over a wall, how many would be left?" "None, Miss Stowe." "No. Tony, think again There were nineteen sheep and seven jump ed over the wall. "Well, Miss Stowe, I think I know what you mean; but, really, Mis3 Stowe, you may know arithmetic, but of place. , ydii don't know sheep."