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Newspaper Page Text
' " W DCCS COR FAT MASTER . I
Wof I'M UOSFReMT. ' '
iHJjNT-i,TRrnoe f JlITiifl
A WOMAN'S WAY
"I see the women are going to
wear medieval costumes In that suf-
fraget parade," remarked Mr. Smiles
pleasantly, "what are you going to
; wear, my dear?"
','My medieval hat," said Mrs.
, And there were nqjurther remarks,
i ' o o
HAS ITS MISSIQN
'A little learning is a dangerous
Hhing," quoted the Wise Guy. "Oh, I
don t know, added the Simple Mug.
It has us mission, ir it wasn't for
cpthe young man just out of college
ithe rest of the world woman t realize
now little it knows." Philadelphia.
FORCE OF HABIT
Crawford' There's no "doubt t.Hfe
prise thing is" to practice economy.
UraDsnaw .dul una i au extrava
gant age, and we seem to be out of
TIT FOR TAT
"Mother's compliments," said the
youngster, as he marched cheekily
into a 'butcher shop in a busy sub
urban thoroughfare, "and she's sent
me to show-you the big bone you sent
with the piece of beef she ordered
The man of meat resented this
complaint, for not only was his shop
full of customers at the time, but, one
and all, they tittered at the boy's re
marks. With anger in eyes, therefore, but
honey in his voice, the butcher turn
ed to the lad,' and, "Tell your moth
er," he observed, "that next time I
kill a .bullock without bones in him,
I'll make her a present of a joint."
The boy departed, and the butcher
rubbed his hands contentedly to
gether, for the other' customers had
laughed frankly at his repartee.
Two minutes later the boy re
"Mother's compliments," he re
marked, "and she says-next time you
find a bit of sirloin with a shoulder-
of-mutton bone in it she'd like to buy
the whole carcass as a curiosity!"
FOR A PURPOSE
'How do you like my arrangement
of the lights?" asked the hostess of
a lady guest at the dinner table.
"You mean having them of differ
"Yes. I do it for a purpose. You
see, some are blue, some red and
some white. Well, you know, one
has to invite people to one's house
whom one perfectly detests. The
other night I had to welcome the two
Misses. Carr. I quite detest them, but
you must be friendly. They are very
pretty, but I- put each of them under
a pale blue light and they looked per
fectly ghastly. They spent a verv
bad. quarter, of an hour and I was
happy. Now "
The hostess looked up and grew as
red as the light above her.
The other lady looked up tooy.
. She was under a blue light! ,