The day book. [volume], March 11, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 32

About The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
JANITOR QUITS HIS POEM
BLAMES PARCEL POST
Medford, Ore., March 11. When
Jonathan Bourne, Jr., conceived the
parcel post idea littleditk he think
that it would be the cause of a South
ern Pacific janitor bursting into the
following effusion :
"I have served you long and I have
served you -well;
This parcel post is giving me hell.
The only way out of it I can see,
Is to sever my connections with the
S. P.
I lift all day and roll all night,
For a man in my fix it sure is a fright.
(Signed) Dad Timothy."
This is the unique way in which the
janitor of the depot here phrased his
resignation, which he says was due
to the increasing weight of the mails
which he carted to and from the
trains.
POLICE SEARCH FOR MEMBERS
OF JOY RIDE PARTY
Police are looking for members of
the joy ride party that left Mayme
Connors, 30, 3442 W. 18th street,
lying unconscious in the middle of
the street at 69th and Western ave
nue. She was found wrapped in an auto
robe at Western avenue and 69th
street, suffering from a wound on her
head and a badly wenched arm and
back.
She named a chauffeur named
"Cody," who said he worked for a
man in the Blackstone Hotel. C. H.
Eckart of the Blackstone Hotel said
he had a man by that name a few
years ago, but does not know where
he is.
Leah Hanna, named as another
member of the party, could not be lo
cated today.
o o
HIS REASON
Our grocer tells us that he gives
short weight to some customers be
cause it is a long wait for them to
pay their bills:
THE SALESLADY
By Jim Manee.
Behind the counter is her stand,
She's there from morn 'till night.
A sortin' and a sellin' goods,
By artificial light.
She has to deal with customers,
Of natures good and bad,
When six o'clock comes every day,
The saleslady is glad.
P. S. "I'm sorry, madam, but we
are all out of that."
o o
MOYER SAYS THEY'LL WIN
Charles H. Moyer today prophesied
that the miners would win the Mich
igan strike.
"The Western Federation will stick
until it goes broke," he said. "Al
ready we've lost $1,000,000, but the
mine owners -are losing also and we'll
win in the end."
TODAY'S HEALTHOGRAM
Treatment of Dyspepsia.
This is the time of year when many
people are likely to complain of dys
peptic svmntoms. It's natural, for
the long winter months have deprived
many of their accustomed and neces
sary outdoor air and exercise.
While the ordinarv method of
treating dyspepsia is to take soda,
pepsin and all kinds of drugs, the
proper method is to return to the out
door, fresh-air plan. Get out of doors
these spring days. Die in the yard.
Play ball with the boys. Walk in the
parks. Run foot races. Shake up
the digestive organs and get them
busy!
WEATHER FORECAST
Generally fair tonight and Thurs
day, but with some cloudiness to
night; lowest temperature tonight
about 28 degrees; rising temperature
Thursday; moderate northerly winds
becoming variable Thursday. Tem
perature Tuesday Highest, 36; low
est, 26.