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Newspaper Page Text
I . , f . NO, IT AIN'T V
THE KID KNEW
, The doctor was "bandaging the
small boy's ami after vacaination.
hvwnen the little chapinterrupted him.
"Put it on the other arm, doctor,"
r "Why, no," said the physician; "I
want to put the bandage on your sore
arm, so that the boys at school won't
hit you on it."
"Put it on the other arm. doc." re-
Pknow the fellows at our school."
. o o
t RAPID DESCENT
f They had been making hay while
the sun shone, and" when (hey had
finished a high haystack the boy
shouted from the top.:
"Say, mister, how am I going to get
The farmer considered the problem
and flnally solved t:
"OJu jest shet yer eyes an walk
round a bit," Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Brewing himself up to his full
height, which was considerable, the
manager breathed fire and brimstone
on the commercial traveler, who,
however, did not seem to be particu
"I refuse to be bothered by touts!
I refuse to buy anything! I don't
want to buy anything! And, if I did,
I wouldn't buy it! This is mail day,
land I am busy! Something you don't
understand busy !"
"Oh;- very well!" answered the
traveler, shrugging his shoulders. "I
only wanted' to draw your attention
to the fact that I represent the blood
sucking firm of PoJt & Poter, whose
pottery is the biggest fraud on the
"I haven't got a single thing to sell
that is worth the money. I am at the
moment supposed to be selling a filter
that is really more like a germ-incubator
than a filter. Of course, I
shouldn't talk to you like this if I
thought there was a chance of selling
you something; but, in the cirtum
"Great Scott! You're the only one
of your kind on this earth! Come in
and have a smoke and a talk, a cigar,
tea anything you like!"
A BIT OF THE BLARNEY
"Sure, your riverence, it wasn't
that I was always like this," an Irish
tramp said. "It's often I've heard me
mother say that we was noble by
rights, and that one of ther family
once Tvore a crown in Ireland."
"Well, what do you want?." asked
the man whom he had accosted.
"Would you have the crown back? I
can't give it to you."
"Half-a-crown d do, sir!" -answer
ed the tramp pleadingly. , '
' o o
HE CAN TELL
Hoax The trouble with horse rac
ing is that you can't always pick the
Joax No, but I can tell when a
man is loser the minute I see him,