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I TO TO COSTLY JUSTICE A colored gentleman, on trial for his life in a remote Tennessee town, J was asked by the judge if he had any thing to say, whereupon he replied: "All I has to say is this, judge: If you hangs me, you hangs the best frbass singer in Tennessee." Every body s. CHARGING IT UP "That lawyer of mine has a nerve." "Why so?" "Listen to thisitem in his bill: 'For waking up in the night and ;thinking oyer your case, ten dol lars.' " N. Y. World. I t NOW THEY DON'T SPEAK The dscusslon had become heated. "But any donkey can see that," remarked one of them. "That's where you have the ad- vantage," was the other's polite re joinder. In. y. world. THE SAME OLD STORY "Why, whatever-are you down at this time of the morning for, my dear?" exclaimed the elderly newly wed. "I thought I'd like to give you your breakfast, lovey," demurely answered little Mrs. Podge. Well, pleased, but dimly scenting mystery, old P. fussed over his meal, and prepared to depart. "Have you a clean handkerchief, dear?" inquired the wife. "And ought you not to have your overcoat on?" "Quite all right, little woman." "I don't like to think of your go ing to the station all by yourself, lovey," she said prettily. "I'm coming with you. Aren't you glad?" But the old boy was thoroughly awake now. Turning round on the doormat, he said: "Now, simmer down, my dear! How much is it you want?" o o . ' WHAT THEY WENT BY Little Maggie, who is staying in the country, always goes out to the chicken run in the morning to see if there are any eggs. The other day she found none, except the china nest egg. "No eggs this morning," she an nounced when she went back to the house, "only the one the chickies measure by." N. Y. World. NOT FOR HIM "See here, waiter, here's a piece of wood in my sausage!" "Yes, sir, replied the waiter, con solingly, "but I'm sure er " Sure nothing! I don t mind eat ing the dog, but I'm blowed if I'm go ing to eat the kennel, too!" N. Y. World. WHAT hIMEANT "Dear me, I wish I. had never learn ed to play cards!" exclaimed a man who had been unfortunate in his play. You mean you wish you had learned, don't you?" was his wife's sarcastic reply.