Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
LT I L rr isskr. usual dngto do.
I visa w V, iN-rcx,vtfriss-aER.
VfJHC -v T(R5T WJJSDeR SoCIbR
ffcj TJONT V "cs HE COMES (
LADY DIDN'T KNOW
"Speaking of the youngsters,"
smilingly remarked Congressman
Maurice Connolly of Iq,wa, "reminds
me of little 5-year-old Bessie, who re
cently spent the night with a wbjnan
friend of her parents.
"Everything was sweet and beauti
ful until bedtime came, when little
Bessie dropped to her chubby knees
and clasped her hands, fully expect
ing the prompting that sheusually
got at home.
v "But there was no prompting from
the hostess, and long was the silence.
Finally Bessie realized that it was up
" 'Please, Lord she softly said,
you will have to 'scuse me tonight.
I can't remember my prayers, and
I'm staying with a lady that don't
.know any.' "
'The world is full of things to be
"thankful for if one could only get
:hold of them.
Nowadays much more attention is
paid to the personality .and inclina
tions of prisoners than was the case
a little while ago.
That is why the governor of Bog
moor Prison was not surprised when
he was told that Convict 69 had re
fused to pick oakum.
"What are his reasons for refus
ing?" he asked the warder who had
reported the case to him.
"Says he wants to carry on with
his trade, sir," answered the angry
"And very natural, too. How often
must I tell--you that prisoners who
have trades are not to waste their
time picking oakum? I am surprised
at you wasting my time like this,
Smith. Of course, the man must
work at his trade. See that it is done
at once. That will do!"
"Very good, sir!" answered the
warder. "But," he remarked, as he
went out of the door, "Number 69
is an aviator!"
I MOSTLY HAMMERS
"In this world a man must be either
anvil or hammer," said Longfellow.
Our observation is that a large ma
jority of them are hammers and quite
busy knocking. New Orleans States.
"He sems to be always chasing
"Yes; that appears to be his
method of providing for a rainy day."
N SMITH IN CHURCH
"Should Smith go to church?"
somebody has inquired. Well, if he
does, the churches will be sure of a
crowd. Kansas CJty Times.
The Patron How old are.you?
The Barber Thirty-nine, sir. The
Patron And how
bald? The Barber
Ah, yes! I was quite bald thircynino
years ago, sir.
long have you been
Lemme see, sir.