Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
, , figOM&SR ATDC, TISS VON VEN VoU
-; ARE iNfcefc VARThlWti SOON.
MAv oo ;nu' i. bring y
"Willio was ctrncrorlinc VirrmtrVi ffio
fTstory of his reading lesson.
No said the captain, he read,
" 'it was not a sloop. It was a larger
vessel. By the rig I judged her to be
The word" was new to him.
h "Barque,"fcsupplied the teacher.
Still Willie hesitated.
:. "Barque J!' repeated the teacher,
this time sharply.
Willie looked as though liehad not
heard aright. Then, with an anpre-
pLhensive glance around the class, he
t "You don't make very good music
.with that instrument," said a by-
Htander to the man with the bass
Mirum, as tne Dana ceasea to piay.
"No," admittedthe pounder of the
-drum, "I know I don't; but I drown 'a
heap of bad music."
MORE WAYS THAN ONE
"What a horse!"' said the villagers,
as old Parmer Stinge drove into the
little market town. "Why don't ye
feed the poor brute?"
"It's all skin an' bone, with'a head
big 'nough for three nags!" said the
old hostler at the George Inn, as the
miserable looking "beast was driven
into the inn yard.
"I must get him a new collar," said
Stinge to the hostler.
A week later old Stinge .went In a
temper to the saddler.
"What do you mean by making
my horse's collar this size?" he
blurted out. "It's too small! I can't
get it over his head!"
"Over his head!" yelled the sad
dler. "Do you think I've got time to
waste? Man alive, it wasn't made
to go over his head. Back him into
o o ,
HE COT IT
A man entered an inn with -a dog,
and an Irishman asked wb!at "breed
The owner looked the questioner
insolently up and down, then replied
with a drawl:
"It is a cross between an ape and
"Faith, thin, we're both related to
the beast," was the ready retort.
SOMEWHAT HIS BUSINESS
Rustic I see you are painting
those old trees.
Artist Yes, I am; but it's no busi
ness of yours. Instead of interfering
with me, you had better get on with
Rustic 'Well, my work is to chop
them down, so hurry up with your
"Who gave the bride away?" '
"Her little brother. He stood up
right in the middle of the ceremony
and yelled, 'Hurrah! Fanny, you've
got him at last!' "