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" 'As a colonel I ifind the situation
humiliating. I must find a regiment somewhere to command.' "The next day we still had no regi ment, but 'Boston' had a mule a sorrel mule with"a" fobbed tail. " 'I will not ask you how you came by the animal,' said Storey. " 'Thank you,' said 'Boston.' "Then we started out from Salinas Cruz one colonel, one major, two lieutenants and a sorrel mule with a bobbed tail to find a regiment. "We found it at Twentipeqe. The Twentipeqe Indians are the hand somest people in the world the de scendants of Aztecs, they say and they like to fight. "In three days we had an army of 800 men, 400 horses, 200 mules ami 100 donkeys. "And we marched to Mazatian, where we had our first engagement "War is glorious, is it not, rriy friend? It's fine to be a soldier. I saw 80,000 bales of cotton, 200,000 sacks of coffee and 5,000 sacks of cayenne pepper go up in flames. I saw 75,000 sheep and pigs slaugh tered. "See how glorious is war! One day a sunny, smiling land beneath a smiling sky. The next day the sky darkened with the wings of vultures hovering in the smoke above smoldering ruins, while below lie beasts and men together, rotting and stinking in the tropic heat! "The rebel troops retired.! under cover of the night and -reformed at Leppe, where, in a pitched battle, we beat them decisively and took 80. prisoners that we didn't want. "Storey and 'Boston' had left us on a foray, and 'Bristol' and I were guarding the prisoners, when they turned on us, overpowered us and marched us to a mountain pass near the border of California, where was camped Gen. Lorenzo Mendez. "There we were clapped into a log prison with a Jamaica nigger as jailer. "And there we stayed cooped up 1 in cells and chained by the wrists to the walls, for more than a month. Now and again a prisoner was taken out and didn't come back. We could hear the volleys, though. "Then, one day, Father Gomez and the jailer came, and loosened 'Bris tol,' though I don't know why, and ' Father Gomez set paper and a pot of ink before me and told me to write the answer to a question. If I did he promised he would loose both my wrists. In order that I might write he set my right hand free. "I did not know the answer to his , question, but when I told him so he ' said I lied, and whaled me over the head with a ruler. ' ' "Then 'Bristol' set his stout finT gers in Father Gomez' fat neck and the Jamaican drew his sword to" cut my comrade down, but with my free right I heaved the instand into his black face with such force that it gouged out an eye. "We got the keyes from Father Gomez, who was all but dead, and. a minute lateF were beating it on- the fat priest's donkey for the guif of Twentipeqe. We won through all right, but the last of Our' pursuers took a pot-shot at us before turning back and drilled poor 'Bristol' through the kidneys. "I packed him to the beach, hoping to save him, but lie went off into a sleep .as sweet as a baby's, but a bloomin' sight more lasting-. "I buried him in the sand and came by water to Oakland, Call, to" the land, of the tree" and the home of the brave." o o EAT VARIETY OF FOOD We should train our appetites and stomachs by eating a great variety of food. Don't let the "stomach shirk. You work let the stomach do the same. Put small screws, tacks, nails anri brads into nerfectly dry brass can. Set on shelf In plain view and avoid useless hunting when needed.