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Newspaper Page Text
iJ'ljj.illi'i'.Ui.riprff- Ul "J "!) iirililjjpW'i'i'r.'.'ri' 1 ti ' - i -ii ;ti , fn
?cv DOT'S B5HT PUSSY-CAT. VATCH
UJT-v! S miSH' V0M TWO
STILL NOTHING DOING
- Nathaniel was decidedly coy. Yet
Nathaniel was decidedly desirable in
the eyes of Matilda Mott; and she
ought to know, considering she had
walked up lanes and down lanes, sat
on stiles and jumped ditches with him
for the past nine years.
Matilda could see the tenth year of
their unsatisfactory courtship ap
proaching, and still nothing definite.
The unflattering remarks of the
family spurred Matilda on to action.
"Jessie Morgan's gettin' married
come spring," she said to her swain
"Oh, be she! he answered, trudg
Yes; and my young sister Emma
1 1 III llllllfl
I'M THE AUDIENCE
, Billy, while being reprimanded by
his. teacher for some misdemeanor,
sat down, leaving her standing.
She reminded him that no gentle
man -should sit himself while the lady
with whom he is conversing remains
''But this is a lecture," replied Billy,
"and I am the audience."
' "Qf course I want my daughter to
ihave some kind of artistic education.
I think 111 let her study singing."
"Why not art or literature?"
"Art spoils canvas and literature
bwastes reams of paper. Singing mere
ly produces a temporary disturbance
of j-he atmosphere."
" ; o o
ONCE AND FOR ALL
"Did your wife ever get the best
"Only when she married me."
and Luke Poyser be goin' to make a
"Be they, now?"
Silence for a while.
"Folks do say as 'ow we're goin to
be married soon," she ventured hesi
tatingly. "Won't they lookfules when they
find we bain't?" chuckled the lagging
Courtenay Billions kicked himself
as he walked out of the court-room.
Here, on his first appearance as a
barrister,, he had been beaten by a
The little un was too smart for
you, sir:" said his humble client, m
a disappointed tone.
"Trickery trickery!" he replied.
"Ah, that may be; but he could law
Later m the afternoon Billions en
countered the lawyer comfortably
sunning himself in the smoke-room
of the hotel. Against his will, spite
rose within him.
"Sir," he said, "is there any case
that is too dirty for you to touch, or
any criminal so low that, you won't
"No," came the quiet reply. "Why,
what have you been doing now, my